My opposite.  I knew you were out there, somewhere.  We shall face off and settle this once and for all.  At exactly 4pm, meet me at the traffic light at 5th and Main Street.  You come in from the North.  I'll come in from the South.  If the light is red, I win.  If it's green, you win.  We'll see what happens when the unstoppable force (you) meets the immovable object (me).

Haha I didn't see that you already put that down! Well it looks like a faceoff is in order! I'll see you there!

The ability to make people shit their pants. Now that would be funny.

The ability to have both types of genitals.

the power to eat light

Trichakinesis, or the ability to control my hair.

@radishhead. I assume from the OP you are a fan of Misfits... as such you should know lactokinesis is a very dangerous superpower.

I was going to say that!

The ability to see 1 second into a Chinese man's future.

That means you could see 1 second into over 1 billion people's futures!

The ability to give a fuck.