Thanks and I agree with most of that. However do remember a few days ago about my posts about dating. I am out there well sometimes just not the most outgoing type in adition to being a bit hard to go out with no funds. Although I'm now making a little money so that might help a bit.

Also I don't think it will ever hurt less. It just hurts less often.  That and I remember something I left out of the story. The end of the last conversation we had. Gives me chills when I think about it to long. A few hours before his confrence he called me at work which he often did. However as we were saying goodbye. I said talk to you latter. He replied not if I never talk to you again. His tone of voice was a bit odd and I was really taken aback I don't remember what I said in responce but something along the lines of what do you mean? and of corse we will talk again. He laughed it off saying yeah yeah talk to you latter. Sadly I don't remember if either of us said I love you in the goodbyes but that conversation had really seemed odd. I didn't think much of it at the time though since I was still at work and was sure I'd see him again sometime soon.

I think there will always be questions from that that I reall don't want to know the answers to.

I totally understand. It's why I am sometimes thankful that I am single because I need to save money and work on my educational status first.

oh man... That's awful.

Sometimes not knowing is all you need to know.

Went out with the skype guy last night. It sucked badly. We didn't even hold hands. He was so cold and it made me feel like crap. I guess all the waiting was for nothing -.-

Don't worry, you'll meet someone else. Try OKcupid.

Thanks man. I will check that out sometime.

I guess it's pretty hard to find a fella in Jordan? Have you ever thought about emigrating?

Sorry to hear about your date btw!

I am currently working on 2 plans to emigrate in 2-3 years. I really truely hope one of them works.

I still hope I can find someone here... but that won't happen when I barely go out on a date once yearly.

The problem is that so far I am not willing to date married gay men (married to women) living double lives and list themselves under "single"... or those who plan to marry women eventually or those self loathing guys who think that what we do is the one of the biggest sins.

99% of the gay community here falls under one of these categories. They tell me I will accept and compromize and honestly I think I am about to... especially after last night. meh

I hope you manage to emigrate then, leading a double life is ... well, no life. Which countries are you thinking of?

No life indeed. The options so far are USA, Australia and Germany. I will have to take multiple exams to be educationaly qualified to work there. Since the education in the middle east sucks, most of the stuff they require me to know is new to me and it will take sometime to be fully prepared. Hoping to take the 3 exams in the next 2 years.

I got hit on (or maybe I hit on) by a drag in the early hours of Saturday (about 3am-ish...I think). I was leaving a dnb rave in Brighton (gay capital of the UK and perhaps Europe) and I saw this 'girl' going to a bus stop. She looked quite pretty from a distance and all these chavs were driving past wolf whistling etc so I thought I'd try my luck. Crossed the road to sit at the bus stop with her. Said hello and when 'she' spoke back I was like woah you cannot be female with a voice like that. Anyway she became he and we spoke for a while before I got calls from my friends looking for me. I think he fancied me and he asked me to go back to his even though I told him I was straight. The thought of getting with a straight guy turned him on lol.

I have to say it was a convincing drag. He did look very pretty.