... so now that I've found Jesus, what sould I do with him? Is there a lost and found he belongs in? Anybody need 'im? I don't mind keeping him around, he's nice and all, but I'm not sure I can afford to keep feeding him.
Seek professional help??
What would I do if I'd found Jesus? Put him in an auction, and watch the Catholic and Protestant churches bid themselves to bankrupcy and myself to riches.
I vote that you eBay him, then keep the sandles for yourself
He doesn't want me to auction him. Says it's too much like gambling. I dunno, it kinda feels like he wants out of the public spotlight. When I found him, he was sitting in the corner of my cookie jar, enjoying my baking. Was going to leave those out for Santa, but I suppose Jesus is as good as Santa, y'know?
Not a public auction silly, just send the leaders of each church a message saying "Psst, I have Jesus, this message has been sent to the other Churches, highest bid gets him".
Either that or you could eat him in hope of gaining some divinity I guess.