How important would you guys say compromise is in a relationship? My gf refuses to move to the city which only 30 minutes from where we live because she "likes" living where we are. I know for a fact that it's bullshit and she only wants to stay because her entire family lives there (all within a mile radius, I shit you not). They are the most inconsiderate and nosey people I have ever met, they show up without calling (have been interrupted during sex countless times), her mother comes over almost everyday and has even memorized when I get paid! If we go somewhere her mother is blowing up her or my cell phone wanting to know where we are going and why, I'm 27 years old wtf man really. We have had countless arguments about this and her response to me is "that's how they are deal with it". I don't get this from my own parents it will be a cold day in hell when take it from someone elses. There are tons of things that I could tell you guys but it would take a few threads lol. To sum it up, my every move is being watched (I slept in this past saturday = I slept all day...yeah it's like that) and I feel that getting some distance would be great for our relationship since 90% are arguments are about her family so when I asked her answer was no with no solid reasoning other than "I like it here". I provided support for my argument, from better schools for the kids to even explaining how it will easily work out money wise and still "no". She told me that she wasn't moving and that if i didn't like it I should just leave, I have given up an assload for her and her kids and this is the first time I have asked for anything in the 5 years of our relationship. I have been through alot because of her, from phone calls to ther guys (earlier this year) to going to jail (I didn't hit her). Is it wrong for me to ask for this? I really can't take much more of her family and I feel as i'm about to snap. I have spoken to her and her family but as you can tell nothing has changed, moving closer to where I work is my last hope.

Wow that was a pretty long post, If you read it all thanks and I would really like some mature advice. My posting ability in threads on this computer is iffy so I might have to respond to guys personally, I would wait unitl I get home to post this but it's weighing on my mind I really really needed to vent.

Why don't you just speak to her parent's? If that doesn't change tell her that your feelings aren't being taken account in this situation, if nothing changes put your foot down and just move if she see your being serious she may have a change of heart.

ask her if she thinks this whole situation is ok, and if she wants it to stay like that for the rest of her life.

make your decision based on her answer

Compromise is important, but it needs to be mutual. It's fair enough to have demands, but if she doesn't want to compromise, things might get rough for you. I would try to talk to her about why she wouldn't want to stay move away with you, and make her give a better reason than "I love status quo.". You're clearly not happy with the situation and the least she can do is tell you why she doesn't want the situation to change.

Explain to her how this issue is effecting you. You seem to be willing to make things work so make sure you mention that too. But, if she has all ready made up her mind, there is nothing else you can do.

Honestly, this seems like one of those situations, where, no offense, nothing is going to change whether you talk to anybody or not.  I'm not saying you should necessarily leave her, but I think a relationship with each others parents is one of the most important things, because it can honestly devastate a relationship if something like this exists and they want to be around their parents.

As you've said, you've talked to her and told her all the benefits, and she still won't agree.  I think this is the tell-tale sign that you really only have two options left (in my opinion, of course): Stay with her where you currently live (and get into worthless arguments all the time and continue to despise her parents...as this will never change with the current situation), or move out.  Moving out has two possibilities.  A.) It hits her, and she will decide she actually wants to move in with you where you now live.  B.) She will still just continue living where she is, which, its probably better off if you get away from that anyways.  I'd say B has a higher probability in this case, but you cannot continue living with these circumstances.

Obviously I don't know all of the factors involved, as it is very difficult to simply move out on a girl and her kids (are they yours or not?), but you have to think about how detrimental this is being towards your life.

Run... just run...

ps. if you're killed by her family, that's a risk you will have to take, can I have your TV and videogames?

Sounds to me like you've already tried the sensible avenues for resolution. Sad to say but some people are just like that, where their families are a big part of their lives no matter what, and for the 'significant other' it's just to deal with it or get out.

I've have 2 friends that's in a situation similar to yours, and from what they're going through right now, I can only say that if she doesn't choose to keep a certain distance between you all and her family, you might as well get out of it.

Have you ever asked whether or not it will change if ya'll got married?

well compromise is everything in a relationship,i mean its the definition of relationship

are they your kids? but i guess it comes down to how much you want her

personally if you're arguing everyday about the same things then its on the way out anyway,unless that's the kind of relationship you're into,family is important and good to have around for some people but doesn't work for others

just don't be alone when you have old mans arse,there is no going back

i have no more useless advice

#1: Compromise means you both have to lose something. In your case compromise = her getting her way.

#2: Never date a woman who has kids from a prior relationship. Only a doormat raises another dude's kids.

#3: What's this whole "going to jail for to going to jail (I didn't hit her)? Did she accuse you of hiting her when you didn't?

I don't understand why people are stupid like you and stay in relationships with crazy a-holes like your girlfriend.

Grow a pair, dump her ass and start respecting yourself more dude!