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Sounds to me like you've already tried the sensible avenues for resolution. Sad to say but some people are just like that, where their families are a big part of their lives no matter what, and for the 'significant other' it's just to deal with it or get out.

I've have 2 friends that's in a situation similar to yours, and from what they're going through right now, I can only say that if she doesn't choose to keep a certain distance between you all and her family, you might as well get out of it.

Have you ever asked whether or not it will change if ya'll got married?