From http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/30563986

"Liz and Danny* have been in a committed relationship for more than a decade after a serendipitous meeting at a Mexican restaurant while both were seated at different tables. At the time they met, she was a sprite-like redhead with a quirky sense of humor; he was tall and thin with a mop of curly black hair. Physically attracted from the moment they locked eyes, emotional intimacy came later and grew over time.

Fast-forward 10 years. At 41, Liz remains slender. But Danny, 46, is no longer the lean, dark, handsome type she fell for. Now, she says, his 6-ft.-1-inch frame is "more than a little fleshy and mushy" and the weight gain is a turnoff. So much so, she's found herself uninterested in sleeping with him. She's unhappy; he's growing more resentful.

"It's hard to admit but he's simply not attractive to me anymore," she says. "I'm turned off by his belly fat and love handles."

While the couple is talking about the problem, Liz concedes that she's thinking about leaving the relationship if Danny doesn't, literally, shape up. She feels he's become so complacent and entitled that he has little motivation to change.

"It's kind of symbolic of the way he feels about our relationship," Liz says. "I have refused to have sex with him on several occasions."

Have you yourself ever gained weight in a relationship? If so, have you ever asked your significant other how they feel about you gaining weight? Do you care to ask?

If she is keeping the weight off for you, then you should keep the weight off for her.  If you don't care about porking fat chicks, go ahead and tell her that, so both of you guys can get fat together.

On a side note: I really dislike fat people.  If you dont have a medical condition, you shouldnt be fat.  It's the second leading cause of avoidable death.  you're also ugly.

I met my girlfriend during my freshman year of college.  That's when I started drinking (she was 21).  At the time I weighed about 160 pounds.  Fast forward almost 7 years and I was sitting around 212.  Though that much weight was no stranger to me.  Before I got down to 160 at my peak I was around 220 pounds, this was druing 8th grade.

In the past month and a half I have gone from 212 to 194.  My goal is 175.

I am "you're also ugly?" Hey, hey, the Brotherhood of Steel chicks love the pipes on my helmet and they always give it a good sheen when they have the chance.

Or as I tell all the other Brotherhood of Steel dudes, want to smell my mouthpiece?

Yeah we both gained some weight, and noticed it. That's why we took action to change (I changed the way I eat, he walks to work everyday). We were near overweight but now are well within the normal weight range. I still have some more to lose to get into some of my old clothes though. We're really considerate and I think we want to remain attractive to each other. I mean we're a couple and it's sort of part of being one to make the relationship last.

But I don't see telling him he's fat or vice versa being an issue for us. We're the sort of people to notice our own weight gain (without being obcessed) and take action before it gets out of hand. If I had to tell him though, it would be hard but I would tell him that I keep myself pretty for him, and I would like him to do the same for me. I would suggest to him to maybe lose some weight, so I could find him more attractive. It might seem quite direct but he's one of the only people I can be 100% honest with.

Anyway, fatness is a definite turn off. I wouldn't bitch about a few pounds though.

I'd leave that shallow bitch. lol

i'd leave that porker asshole.  

i've never had a girl get fat on me personally but a few of my friends have.  everytime one of my friend's partners let themselves go it came hand in hand with a "emotial letting go" as well.  basically, the guy/girl stopped caring about what their partner felt physically or emotionally.  not good imo

She is shallow yes but humans are very shallow. What's new? People choose mates for very shallow reasons and people can't help doing so. Physical attractiveness, "financial security", social status, "common interests", etc. (this one is the kiss of death for a geeky guy like me. Because I'd rather stay home playing videogames on a Saturday night than go clubbing. And geeky gamer chicks are in short supply compared to geeky guys. I haven't been in a relationship for years and I thought about trying to be more outgoing so that I can get into one again. But after giving it some good thought, I realized that I would be happier being the "real me" than trying to pretend I'm someone I'm really not just to increase my chances of finding a mate. I "faked it" with my previous girlfriend and while things were great at the beginning, I ended up miserable because I didn't feel comfortable with her like I do with "one of the guys". My male friends being pretty much mostly geeks. I didn't feel like myself with her. )

Common interests IMO are far from the most important part of a relationship. One of my best friends is not a gamer and we have radically different views on certain subjects (especially religion). But I know I can trust him more than almost everyone else (that's what best friends are for. And a spouse is supposed to be your best friend basically. But with physical intimacy and a greater level of emotional connection). And some of the best conversations I've ever had with women were with older women in their 30s and 40s (and they were not gamers. And even if they had a Wii around the house, like many women their age do, it didn't come up in conversation).

Anywho, People can't will themselves to be sexually attracted to someone they aren't sexually attracted to. And unless she and he are ok with a sexless marriage, it's a problem if she isn't sexually attracted to hubby anymore (not that there is anything wrong with sexless marriage. I think it's a load of bs that a happy marriage absolutely must include sex. There are plenty of happily married couples, usually middle-aged and older ones, that don't have sex anymore. But It depends on the person and I think it's safe to say that for her, sex is still a very important part of her marriage. Considering she makes such a big deal about his looks).

Well people can't avoid getting old and inevitably ugly.

But people can avoid getting fat. Unless he has a health problem that causes him to gain weight than I don't blame her feelings. Nobody wants to fuck a pig. Unless that's your fetish... but most people don't like that.

If I was in a situation like that (say I got married and the wife let herself go after pregnancy), I would stand by my woman. But chances are, I probably wouldn't have sexual attraction to her anymore . And for a lot of middle-aged women in the 21st century western world, they have a very urgent need for sex and feel it is a very important part of a marriage. And she would in turn be the one doing the leaving. Because all these sex therapists have brainwashed couples into thinking that something is wrong if the fire is gone and what not. Personally, I think it is completely natural if the sexual fire/hunger died out in a relationship after awhile. It's a completely normal phenomenon. Sexual chemistry starts off high (because human nature wants us to make babies) and then sexual chemistry naturally drops off gradually over time. Back in the old days, it was kind of accepted that the fire dies out after awhile. But in our sex-obsessed society of today, people have this idea that people should still be having wild passionate sex on a regular basis until death. That's unrealistic fantasy. It's no wonder the divorce rate is so high. People have very unrealistic expectations of what marriage should be about.

So the situation goes both ways. Yes she should be loyal to her man. But he also has to live with the fact that his wife is not some submissive doll that puts out on command. Sexual attraction is not a choice. If the wife isn't sexually attracted to him, then why should she be forced to have sex with him? The same goes for men. We can't be expected to perform on command if we come home to an obese 200 pound wife. Personally I like women who have extra cushin for the pushin. But there's a difference between that and obese.