Man i feel like i could have written that text myself lol. Don't worry you're not an asshole, you're just sober. Unlike most people you're not trying to be someone else and do things just because other's expect you to. I have the same things all the time, saying something while i don't even really care(trying to polite i guess) and then already regretting it 2 seconds later and trying to cut off the conversation as soon as possible. 

If more people were like that we wouldn't have stupid programs like my new BFF and my sweet sixteen....(i may be going a bit OT now).

I think in scenario 2 they didn't say anything because you said "for goodness sake"

You used to be PullusPardus?

In the Chartz, I'm a major dick and tread the very fine line of being very close to being banned.

In the real world, I don't speak my mind much and usually just get along well with everyone. Better than everyone hating me.

You have it completely reversed.

Yes.

*explodes*

i think now its being painfully honest. but that also leads to doing mean/selfish stuff

????????

I didn't know that you were.

Of course, I hardly ever see you post stuff on the forum.

Honestly I can't imagine you being nice in the world! :P

I'm generally a nice guy, but to my friends I can be a real dick sometimes (given I know my limits).