ROFL

Pro Tip: Stick it in her pooper!

*Gets Shot*

Ok i'll treat this as a real request for information and be damned consiquences.

where to find condoms: there will be a whole section of the damn things, just walk around like your looking for asprin untill you find them if your nervious.

size you need: size tends to refer more to how big around you are rather then length, unless your a porn star in training there isn't much to worry about here. you should be fine with the standard size, most guys are, which is sorta why it's the standard size......

type of condom to use: just a plain lubracated condom will do it, don't try anything with the words "ultra thin" "extra sensation" or " flavored" , your not playing in that league yet. anything that deadens the sensation will help it last longer, and you'll need all the help you can get in that regard.

the more you know* : a dry sensation is really bad, if the friction gets rough, get out and put a new condom on before you rip it. spit works as lube in a pinch, and don't for the love of god take anything out of he medicine cabnet due to the fact that best case secniro it could make the condom useless and worst case it could make your lady friends vagoo feel like a fire pit. I have a friend who tried VIcks vapor rub on her first time, i still piss myslef laughing when she tells the story.

hope i helped and have fun.

the last I bought em was a grocery store.

fun times had by all.

LOL i so didnt...i thought it was just some wierd thing they do in the US.

Here are the stages:

1.) Grab a banana (Small)
2.) Eat teh banana
3.) Put the skin around your ----~
4.) Stick it together with glue
5.) Tell your GF to go to your house
6.) Tell her you have a surprise for her
7.) Ask her if she likes banana
8.) Regardless of 7.) start the fun
9.) BANG BANG BOOM...Headshot
10.) Toastboy = winning homemade solution

I would just like to post so I can be a part of this awesome thread :)

I remember my first time, one of my many epic stories none of you will ever hear :P

Great thread. Surprising amount of hate towards dtwei.
Sex is supposed to bring us men together, not tear us apart!

Better use a micrometer (measures in ten thousandths of an inch) XD. Sorry, it's been begging to be said by somebody ever since somebody mentioned measuring yourself (I kid BTW so don't get all huffy). Anyway, unless you are porn star huge, just get a regular sized condom and call it good.

O_O