DonFerrari said:
curl-6 said:
I didn't know how to walk away either; she was severely depressed, self-harming and suicidal by the end so I was terrified if I left she'd kill herself.
In the end, I had to just gather my courage and say no more, I can't do this. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I had to save myself. I urge you to do the same. For your own mental and physical safety, get out.
There are very few people I've disclosed my experiences to, because I read people saying things like "but you're twice her size, why not just stop her" all the time online. My ex hit me in the throat while I was sleeping; how was my size supposed to prevent that? She punched me hard in the chest without warning for not finishing a drink in one go, my size didn't mean it didn't hurt and make me feel unsafe.
This all happened over 7 years ago and just in the last few months have I managed to finally overcome my fear of sleeping in the same room as someone else with my current partner, who is lovely and very understanding.
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And if you immobilize her outsiders will say you are much bigger than her so you are hurting her and should be ashamed.
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I did have to immobilize her a few times; once on a train station platform I had to hold her still to stop her jumping in front of an oncoming train.
On the occasions she hit me it simply happened without warning and too fast for me to react to stop it. Heck, one time I was dozing with my eyes closed. Superior strength alone is not enough to stop physical abuse.
Last edited by curl-6 - on 06 June 2022
