I had a similar situation in 2017. For my entire life I had anxiety crisis. Getting bullied at school didn't helped either. But 2017 was the year where I finally noticed that I needed help.
It was torture. Every time I looked at a mirror, I would think there was something wrong with me. I don't know how to explain, like I had some kind of disease that was ruining my health, but I was the only one noticing it.
But, after learning more about myself, and seeking medical health, I can say that 2017 was the last year where I had that kind of problem. In the last 3 years, I feel free from that. I know the anxiety or depression will still show itself sometimes, but knowing I can control myself, I feel much better dealing with them.
One thing I learned along the way is that you MUST have friends. Even online friends. Some people that can distract your mind, talk to you, play video games together... It's a precious help.
You will see that nobody has a perfect life. Everyone has or at least had bad moments. But you need to remember that... Well:
You can't see the sunrise at midnight, but that doesn't mean it's not coming.
You just said it.
Well, I talk too much when I talk about those things. Hope you're not bored. xD
Let's just enjoy life.