Die Another Day Review

[Signalstar]

This post about my feelings towards this film could either be really short or really long. I'll just start typing and see how it goes.

This film is dreadful. I wanted to die the day I saw, why wait for another day? Every single thing about it is cringeworthy. The theme song is undoubtedly the worst in the entire history. What the fuck does Madonna think she is doing? Its all over the place, the lyrics make no damn sense, and nothing about it suggests James Bond. Did you see the awful music video for it where she runs around a gadget room like the scene in The Living Daylights? Dreadful.

Halle Berry is also the worst Bond girl in my opinion. She can't act worth a damn. The only good thing she has done is the X Men movies. Jynx couldn't decide if she wanted to be smooth and sexy or cute and clumsy. She has no business trying to emulate Honey Rider (to this date the very best Bond girl).

Who wrote this piece of shit? James Bond surfing, being tortured, going rogue for the bajillionth time. An invisible car? A palace made out of Ice? A laser is space chasing an invisible car through a palace made of ice?

Gustave Graves is just dreadful. Korean guy turned white guy? Was this a reference to Colonel Drax in Moonraker. A German impersonating a Brit is one thing but this is ridiculous. So many bad one liners. Pierce Brosnan looks bored throughout. Who asked for this? No one.

A cool thing to know: This movie sucks ass!

Another cool thing to know: If you watch this movie while listening to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon it still sucks ass!

I award this movie -2 out of 5 points and may Ian Fleming have mercy on everyone involved in its production.