Karma hurts. You tasted the forbidden fruit, a lot, so no wonder trust is low. Why do you answer the phone when your ex calls? Just ignore her and it will get less. Except now you're ignoring your new wife. Cut that shit out and go back, apologize, promise not to talk to your ex anymore. Anything important can be done by text. What's more important to you, a good relationship with your wife or with your ex.

You live in regret with the past and thats fine until your todays wife is the victim of it, it is understandable why she is suspicious of all those unneeded calls that can be avoided and if you go into defense that hard whenever she has a problem with it then it might even strengthen her belief that she needs to be untrusthy of you.

Do not damage what you build up with her just for pride,not worth it.

Clearly you already know what you should do, you're just looking for enough confirmation of it to outweigh your "pride." Stop being such a cliche and go do it already.

Did things work out in the end?

Yea we need the juicy details.

Just abandon everything and everyone, leave the country and start a new life in Argentina.

I went home Saturday afternoon. Some random shit happened including another phone call from my ex that pretty much prevented any kind of making up. I went to bed on one side of the house and my wife slept on the other. Sunday morning I woke up and was about to pack up and leave again...but I didn't. Instead I worked in the yard all day. She made dinner. We ate but there wasn't much conversation. I went to bed with her but got up after an hour and slept on the couch.

What I didn't mention in the op was how defensive I get when I'm criticized for something--even when it's totally my fault. I lashed out. Basically said that when I met her she was nothing and she doesn't contribute anything of worth. Totally not true but I'm an asshole. I made her cry and I made me cry for making her cry. But we're talking now (even though I'm at work) and I've mustered the strength to tell her : I'm sorry.

Also told me ex to STOP CALLING ME. It does nothing but cause problems.

Good lad, i was quite sure you'd bang your ex the second night

You describe her as a sweet person and you have problems with showing how you feel,atleast from a distance you can muster up some courage to talk about it.

Your ex calling you triggered this mess but it is not the cause of how overblown this became,you and your ego had that in hand,i do not want to be rude but a relationship should be about 2 people knowing eachother and intertwining emotionally,it is YOU/HER and not YOU/YOU or HER/HER .

Oh man when I hear about these human issues (that are more common than people would admit) I am glad I'm not in a relationship. Too many complications, issues of all kinds, emotional drama and financial strain.

I totally can do without it all.

As for you, I wish you the best but I cannot give you advice because my strategy is to avoid all these problems because I wouldn't really know what to do if it all happened to me and as a rule to myself if I don't understand a situation I simply stay away from it. This may not be for everyone I guess but it sure works for me.