Seriously, this is getting ridiculous.

-I get ready for work.  I shave, brush my teeth, take a shower, iron my clothes, splash on some cologne, and feel like a movie star.  Out of nowhere, I have to take a poop.  I feel dirty all day.

-I'm playing a video game and I get to the awesome, unskippable cutscene.  I have to take a poop. I miss the cutscene.

-Several months ago, I was out with a hot girl.  She has the idea that she wants to do it in the car.  I have to poop.  She changes her mind.

-To a lesser extent, I have the house to myself.  I plan to spend some time "getting to know myself".  Out of nowhere, I have to poop.

-I go out to dinner and then, later to a mall or something.  There's no bathroom around or the bathroom that I do find has a bunch of super models (as close as I'm going to find, anyway) standing outside of it.  I have to poop.  I don't want women to know I do that!

-Sometimes, I poop.  Then I go on a long roadtrip.  I have to poop again!!  WTF?  If there was poop in there, it should have come out with the rest of the poop, right?

Why does that asshole hate me?  Does he not realize the embarrassment and self consciousness he causes me?  Does he not realize that we're a team?  If I poop on myself, he suffers the consequences too!  But no.  He doesn't care.  He continues to pick the most inopportune times to make his move.  I hate that asshole.

*this thread was intended for "the secret forums* but I can't find them anymore.

That was the most heroic thing I've ever read. Cheers!

It's better than going every single day.