Ladies and Gentlemen! Nintendo Company Limited, in conjunction with their partner, Next Level Games, is proud to bring you the Punch-Out!! Network! It's the wildest, the wackiest, the craziest, the most awesome display of the Noble Sport you're ever going to see outside of a Mike Tyson/Evander Holyfield rematch! We're bringing you fourteen of the world's most powerful pugilists, the most brutal bruisers, the most ferocious fighters that the world has ever seen, and it's all from the comfort of your living room couch. Yes folks, these sultans of swat are willing to do anything and everything to each other to earn that championship belt, and the Punch-Out!! Network will bring you every bloody nose and broken jaw in glorious 480p!
Now we're sure you're just asking yourself "when can I start to see the gloves and teeth go flying?" Well we're pleased to inform you that the bloodthirsty in North America can see our gladiators go at it starting May 18th, and those of you in the PAL regions can follow every uppercut and body blow starting May 22nd.
It is with tears in my eyes that I must inform those of you in the Land of the Rising Sun that no solid release date has been announced there yet, but rest assured that soon you too can get to see our Titans of Terror ripping each other to pieces!
We know you're eager to get to the main event, and soon enough you will! But we also know you want to see these ferocious fighters pounding each other in new and different ways. With that in mind, the Punch-Out!! Network is proud to announce that we're bringing a little something for everyone, in the shape of different programs.
First up is Championship Mode, where viewers will get to watch boxing rookie and total underdog, Little Mac, try to climb on the bodies of his beaten opponents to become the boxing champion of the world! Can he make it, or will he be going down for the count? Tune in and find out!
Championship Mode will be a rush, but reaching the top is only the beginning: holding onto the belt is where the real challenge lies. In Title Defense Mode, we'll get to watch the reigning champion as he tries to take on his old rivals, each of whom has learned entirely new tricks. Even the most jaded of boxing veterans will be stunned to discover that the weakest of opponents can (and will!) crush the champion like they're all Mr. Dream. Good times!
Every prizefighter knows that it takes hours of hard training to prepare for every minute in the ring, so in Training Mode our bruisers will be able to take on holographic versions of their opponents, learning all the tricks and moves in the safety of their own gym. They'll be maximizing their pain-inflicting powers for your viewing pleasure!
All the other wimpy sports channels turn Exhibition Mode into a bland, boring, no-stakes match-up between two specific fighters. Where's the fun in that?! So we at the Punch-Out!! Network decided to kick things up a notch, and make our Exhibition Mode be a series of tough challenges for our competitors. It was already tough to take down Great Tiger and his Mirage Dance: watch as they try to knock him out with just three punches!
For those who want to get more people in on the adrenaline-pumping action, we're pleased to bring you Multiplayer Mode. Two Little Macs go at it, one-on-one, and discover for themselves just how much hurt a hundred pounds of raw talent and determination can inflict! Viewers might even catch a glimpse of the elusive and power Giga-Mac. Puts a new meaning to the phrase Knuckle-Dragger!
But don't think that's all! There's one more Secret Mode that the sanguine amongst us can partake in. But we've sworn not to tell what it is, so tune in this week and find out for yourself!
And here they are, the fourteen ruthless warriors of the Punch-Out!! Network!
Age: 17 From: The Bronx, New York Height: 5' 7" Weight: 107 lbs. Record: 0-0
Age: 38 From: Paris, France Height: 5' 10" Weight: 110 lbs. Record: 1-99
Age: 42 From: Berlin, Germany Height: 6' 0" Weight: 144 lbs. Record: 23-13
Age: 20 From: Brooklyn, New York Height: 6' 3" Weight: 210 lbs. Record: ??
Age: 46 From: Hippo Island, South Pacific Height: ?? Weight: 500 lbs. Record: 18-9
Age: 28 From: Tokyo, Japan Height: 6' 2" Weight: 174 lbs. Record: 26-1
Age: 29 From: Mumbai, India Height: 5' 11" Weight: 132 lbs. Record: 24-5
Age: 32 From: Salmon Arm, Canada Height: 6' 3" Weight: 440 lbs. Record: 17-12
Age: 23 From: Madrid, Spain Height: 6' 1" Weight: 152 lbs. Record: 22-3
Age: 23 From: Dublin, Ireland Height: 6'1 Weight: 160 lbs. Record: 18-10
Age: 36 From: Istanbul, Turkey Height: 6'2 Weight: 298 lbs. Record: 36-4
Age: 35 From: Moscow, Russia Height: 6' 6" Weight: 237 lbs. Record: 33-2
Age: 27 From: Hollywood, California Height: 6' 4" Weight: 242 lbs. Record: 35-0
Age: 31 From: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Height: ?? Weight: 312 lbs. Record: ??
Secret 14th character. Don't click if you don't want spoilers.
The Punch-Out!! Network realizes that having everyone follow the exact same fighting standards would be more dull than a Glass Joe/Gabby Jay matchup, so we bring our viewers their choice of not one, not two, not three, but four different options for experiencing the heart-pumping action!
For those of you who are completely old-school, we're giving you the option to use only the Wii Remote: fighters hold it sideways like an old NES controller, use the D-Pad to dodge/duck/uppercut, the 1 and 2 buttons to throw left and right punches, respectively, and the A button to launch the Star Punch.
For the modern crowd, we're proud to bring you Wii Remote and Nunchuk controls. The Kings of Knockouts can move the Wiimote or nunchuk forward to do a left or right punch, respectively, hold up and do the motion to do an uppercut, dodge and duck using the joystick, and throw Star Punches with the A button.
Those of you who want to really get into the action can use the Wii Remote, Nunchuk, and Balance Board setup. The fists are controlled just as in the Wii Remote and Nunchuk setting, but to duck or dodge our gladiators stand on a Balance Board (sold separately) and lean left, right, or down. Have a blast and a workout at the same time!
Finally, the unorthodox amongst us can use the Wii Remote and Balance Board approach. Again, the Balance board is used to dodge, and the Wii Remote-only controls are used to throw punches.
Although the main event is less than a day away for our North American fans, and under a week for those in the PAL region, we at the Punch-Out!! Network know that some of you need your fix now! So feast your eyes on this cornucopia of screenshots and trailers!
As expected, the critics have been TKO'd by just how great the Punch-Out!! Network is! Listen to their words as they rave about the bone-crunching greatness that is Punch-Out!!
1up: A+
While Punch Out!! makes for an entertaining enough solitary experience, the back-seat driving aspect makes it positively shine as a party game. There's nothing quite like having a few friends over, passing the controller around, shouting advice, and just generally bonding over some hilarious, bloodless violence.
Game Informer: 90
So many things could have gone horribly wrong, but the core single-player experience gets everything right. [June 2009, p.87]
Nintendo Power: 85
The folks at Next Level Games have created an amazing title that has made the 15 years since Super Punch-Out!! quite worthwhile. [June 2009, p.88]
IGN: 88
Punch-Out!! nuts have nothing to worry about, and I think that the game design holds up really well, even for players who aren't familiar with the brand's unique offering of pattern-focused gameplay.
Ladies and gentelmen!
