Hello, everyone. I am 16 years old and I am gay, I'm 100% sure of it and I'm loving it. Of course I wasn't like this before, I've finally accepted myself only about eight months ago when I met my current boyfriend and fell in love.

I was molested when I was 4 years old, that opened my eyes on so many things. Psychology says that's a reason for homosexuality since a person's sexuality is determined by the age of 6, and anything before that has a huge effect on a person's personality and likings.

I live in is a small and close-minded society where homosexuality is forbidden, entirely. Society traditions force guys to be manly by the age of 9, and if you don't make out with girls or anything then you are called gay and that means big troubles. Over here, homosexuals are despised by everyone... litter, stones and other trash is thrown at them when they walk by... and even some were murdered.

Yes, it's that cruel over here... that's why it is so important for someone like me to keep their identity a secret, although I'd love to be open about it more than anything in the world, because I believe that I shouldn't be ashamed of it. I'll come to why I think that later.

To make things worse, my family is really hateful towards homosexuals and I am sure that if they didn't kill me, they'd simply kick out of the house and never talk to me again. Keeping my identity a secret is a really difficult burden, it's like I have to be someone else around my friends and family... pretending to like girls and all.

I mentioned before that I've only accepted myself as a homosexual about 8 months ago, before that I was trying to change so bad because I didn't want to be different and because homosexuality is forbidden in my religion, many religions actually. I really tried hard, I considered therapy but I couldn't do it without my family finding out... I tried becoming religious hoping for a miracle, but nothing worked. Eventually I came to realize that's a part of me, it's one of those things that you can't really change no matter what, it's how you behave and how you feel... feelings cannot be controlled.

For those who think that homosexuals choose to be gay by their own will, let me ask you a question. If you are entirely straight, can you make yourself feel hot for a guy? No matter what you do, can you make yourself like other guys in a way homosexuals do? The idea may disgust some, so what makes you think homosexuals are no different? They feel this way, they can't force themselves to like girls... you were born with natural instinct to like girls, and we were born with natural instincts to like guys.

Of course some people turn from entirely straight to bisexuals, but how often is that? Recent psychology researches say that each person is born bisexual but the envirunment they live in determines what they become afterwards... and the fact that I was molested by a guy turned me into a homosexual.

That's why I'm not ashamed of being gay, because I didn't choose to be gay... I was given this aspect and I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I lost faith in my religion for a while because it forbided homosexuality and I knew at the time that no matter what I did, I couldn't do it... but I have changed since then, I do believe in God again although I'm still unable to understand how the whole thing works.

In my case, molestation was the determining factor... but I have a friend who wasn't molested, his older brothers are so manly, his father is so manly and he was raised in the same way as his brothers but he turned out to be gay... how come? He was also born with girly voice, he sounds softer than girls... you can't say he chose his voice, can you? You see that made me realize even more that some things are beyond our reach and we just need to accept God's wisdom.

I know this is a HUGE wall of text, so I'm going to finish up now. Well, all I have to say is that people don't understand that homosexuals are normal people and they don't choose to be homosexuals, they just are. I think my community's ignorance really hurt me in the past, I thought homosexuality only meant sex but I have learned otherwise as of late... me & my boyfriend are so in love and I've never been happied. It's true he's 10 years older than me, that scares a lot of people off but I'm still quite happy. We've been together for 8 months and the biggest thing we've ever done is make out and that helped me realize that gay relationships are just relationships, just because two guys are in it that doesn't mean there has to be sex (that's what I thought at first).

I really hope this helps at least one person re-think the whole situation and perhaps try to be more understanding, because everyday of my life I wake up to think of my 'secret' and that this could be my last day on earth if anyone finds out...

I've always felt that it is a choice to some degree, but not a choice over the feelings you have. As you said people start out gender neutral, and it's my theory that everyone is somewhere in between gay and straight. Not many are completely one side or another. We then choose whether we want to be seen by others as straight or gay. I'm sure there are many people who have some sexual feelings towards members of the same sex, but suppress these and live their life as a straight person.

So in regard to one's feelings I agree that you really have no control over them, but it's my theory that everyone does make a conscious decision on which feelings they bring forth and which they hide deep down. So everyone makes a choice on some level.

Well first of all, welcome.

This part struck me the most though, and was the main body of debate within some homosexual (acceptance) threads a few weeks ago:

"For those who think that homosexuals choose to be gay by their own will, let me ask you a question. If you are entirely straight, can you make yourself feel hot for a guy? No matter what you do, can you make yourself like other guys in a way homosexuals do? The idea may disgust some, so what makes you think homosexuals are no different? They feel this way, they can't force themselves to like girls... you were born with natural instinct to like girls, and we were born with natural instincts to like guys."

I want to say that I tried. Ey, being bi-sexual means probably more sex for me. Though I couldn't get my mind wrapped around liking men and since then decided to be straight...

Anyway, my tip is: Migrate as soon as you can, or the secracy will eat you up. I don't know where you are from but I know that some country's in the EU at least accept people fleeing because of their sexual orientation

I hope this doesn't sound like an attack, but obviously this is a big thing for you since you felt the need to make it your second post on the forum. I represent the group of people in society that doesn't care, and doesn't understand why you feel the need to explain who you chose to have relationships with to random people that have no bearing on your life especially when your experience with said people, in this case being the members of this board, has been about 2 days long.

In short, no one cares. You are 16 years old and I know you think the world needs to know about your plight but at some point you are going to have to come to grips with the fact that the world doesn't care and you better learn how to be happy with yourself, by yourself, or are going to be on an endless, fruitless journey looking for validation from others that will never, ever, come.

This sounds heartless, but I don't like to blow smoke up people's asses. I never want to be remembered as Profcrab the strait guy. I don't see why you would want to be remembered as thelalaby the gay guy. There is a little more to life than that, don't get too caught up with your new label.

Also, to comment on your relationship situation. Just because you are gay doesn't mean it is ok for your boyfriend to have a relationship with a minor that is 10 years younger than him. It makes him a pedophile, sex involved or not.

I give this thread a 9.2.

this must a huge thing to accept at 16, and i support your notion that's not a choice. No one chooses who they are attracted to or who they love.

And welcome.

Takes bravery... or alchohol to open up like this to people you dont really know bravo :D

Where do you live, it sounds like somewhere in the 1970s.

Welcome to the site.

I'm curious where you live (i.e. which continent), because your English is much better than mine but judging from what you wrote about your society I assume you are not living in an English speaking country.

ummm I live in the Middle East, my native language is Arabic and I am Muslim...

@Esmoreit

You remind me of a friend of mine. He is bisexual and I helped him become straight only... you know when you like both genders, all it takes is some self-control to get over this issue, of course easier said than done but it's very possible.

QFT

Quoted for stupidity.

He's 16 and he can do what he wants, and no, the relationship doesn't make his boyfriend a pedophile.

I give your posts a generous 0.5.