I liked the gameplay of Secret of Mana. I liked the battles in Legend of Dragoon. I felt connected in both games, though they are drastically different. I think that a good ARPG should feel like more Action and less RPG, but have a deep RPG system behind it all, like Secret of Mana. Legend of Dragoon really isn't a ARPG, but its battle system requires action thereby qualifying it to some degree.
In both games you have to connect to your characters during battle, one of the most critical points of any game. If you can feel connected to your characters during battle, then you are half way through making a good game.