Yeah, GTA multiplayer is pretty bad. Just wait until the PC version of it whenever it comes out, or if you're impatient, just stick with the console version.

I used to experience the waiting problems on the 360 version but now it seems much more people play. I guess they wanted to finish the game first. The other problems you mentioned may be your connection.

It sounds like you are having router or connection issues in most of the cases you described. As far as having the crown goes that means you're the boss and pick all the options. You'll get kicked if you pick options that other people don't like or if you sit there and don't pick anything at all.

If you're the crown most the time your main issue may be either hitting the ready button too soon (which wouldn't allow many people in the game) or not hitting it soon enough (which would cause many people to get bored and leave)

It all boils down to you not using the interface (although it is difficult to understand) correctly. I would explain to you how to use it properly but I don't feel like typing it out. Keep trying and you'll get the hang of it. Good Luck.

You are absolutely correct. The way that Rockstar Implemented the online multiplayer is complete trash and took me like 2 weeks to figure out. I don't know what the hell these guys were thinking when they made the system. The players should be able to choose or vote on which types of games they want to play. As it stands people just leave games that they don't want to be involved in bogging down the system even further. A perfect example of how Rockstar doesn't pay attention to little gameplay details which would make their games 100% Better. Considering the huge delay this game had I would have thought that this would have been better planed out.

Well before I came back and read all your replies I did some searching and read it could be a router issue. So I disconnected the router and hooked the PS3 directly. It worked perfectly. Connection was solid, quick and I had fun. I kicked a little ass for a GTAIV noob too.

I still think they could make the options and menus better, but at least it works.

I would really appreciate some help or links to getting it to work through the router. I would hate to disconnect the PC's just to play the PS3 online.

OK I did a couple things. I adjusted some router settings. Router is a wired Linksys Cable/DSL Router w/ 4-port switch, model BEFSR41.
UPnP Forwarding: I used the default settings and assigned an IP Address.
DMZ: enabled and entered same IP address.

Went on PS3 did manual internet config and used the default gateway, with the new IP address from UPnP and DMZ.

So far I can play the PS3 through the router without issue. Ill need to play more to make sure its stable, but so far so good.

If anyone needs more details shoot me a message and I'll try to help.

EDIT:

With my new router settings its better than before, but still have the lost connection from time to time.