Good God, this game pisses me off. There's a missile escort mission where you walk an extremely slow mobile missile across a bridge. Since the game is so ridiculously easy, I decided to go John Rambo and just run up and take down everybody. Piece of cake.

The problem is that the missile will stop if you get too far ahead. Moreno also screams at you for going ahead and making them fail the mission. Uh, hello dipshit but there's nothing up here... I already f***ing killed it all.

So you have to run back and wait for Slowey McSloweypants in the missile to cross the bridge at the speed a quadrapalegic would move if he were to use his tongue as the sole method of propulsion.

Fun stuff. 

Drink more beer.

Or go talk to your wife or something

My wife is in Chicago.

Anyway, I see why they made me wait for the tank. Free Radical spawned extra stuff as the missile crossed the bridge. Weak.

I still didn't die. Stupid game.

I feel bad for you. You are playing Haze while I'm replaying the awesomeness of Half-Life 2. Just got to the point where you break into the prison with the Antlions (epic level).

See, but you don't realize quite how good HL2 is because you're not playing a pile of festering dog shit like Haze right now. I've already played HL2 (as I'm sure you have also) so, in a way, I'm appreciating Valve more than you are even though you're playing Half-Life and I'm not.

The game just tried to make me get in a vehicle again. I politely declined and decided to hoof it. I beat the segment in less than ten minutes on foot... It sure is convenient that all the Mantel soldiers wear bright yellow helmets. It makes sniping them with an assault rifle from 200 yards so much easier.

I swear, this game was programmed by retards for retards. 

OMG, I just found a soldier sleeping. There was literally a gunfight 20 yards from him but he was asleep against a truck.

Naturally, I poked him in the side of the head to wake him up... With four rounds from an assault rifle. Originally, I thought he may have been dead already but I had plenty of ammo so decided it would be fun just to shoot him anyway. He was alive, despite the lengthy gunfight just a few feet away.

Gotta love this AI and you gotta love a game where a drunk bastard like me carries around a fully loaded RPG with the idea that "this might come in handy later"... Over one hour later, I still haven't fired a round with it. There's no need for it. I'll tote it around until the end of the game if necessary but when I'm on Chapter 13 of 15, I'm drunk and still can't find a reason to use something like that, you know there's something wrong with the game.

I swear to God that if I hear "Remember your promise to Moreno" one more fucking time, I'm pulling my PS3 out of the entertainment center and urinating on it.

This game has gone from bad to mediocre to bad to terrible. I'm beginning to understand that 4.5, though I still think it's overly harsh.

Question for Montana - did anyone mention the Wii's shovel ware or even compare the DS's software reviews prior to?

Couldn't it just as easily have been a 360 title or is it just the religation through bottlenecking speaking? To add to that; the term is "that was random."

Good luck with your review, it must be hard being a reviewer - being obligated to play games that you don't enjoy... I guess you have to look forward to the ones you do.

Well, I'm on the last level. A few things FR did in the last few levels:

1. They put turrets in the last few levels. Apparently they realized how stupid they made the trooper AI and put in auto turrets to kick your ass. Even then, they killed me maybe three times in an hour.

2. Special Ops. I don't know what's so special about these operatives because on the surface, they're still as cork-on-the-fork stupid as the other soldiers. It isn't even much harder to kill them.

3. The second to last level was put together by interns. It must have been. This is the one point where I wish I had screenshot capability. You would move back an inch and get total black everywhere. If you moved forward an inch, you got a full view of a three story enclosure (which you were in, I might add) that houses a giant weapon/feeder thingie. It's ridiculous. One inch, you're blind. Second inch, you're sniping people from two stories down. Absolutely-fucking-pathetic.

4. Again, this game is easy. Two days ago, I was drunk playing this game. After a brief excursion to San Diego, I'm once again playing this game... Drunk off my ass. I'm 7-8 shots deep in three hours and I'm still dying once every 15 minutes. Considering that I'm about to beat the game, that is very, very sad.