Last week I explained my journey through this election and the crux of what went wrong as I see it. At the end, I suggested that I might later, separately, provide my thoughts on the much-discussed role of gender in this election as the forum's resident feminist voice. I'm gonna try and follow through on that this evening.
So as we know, there's always a gender gap in American elections and usually it favors Democrats these days, as most of the time the Democratic advantage among women exceeds the Republican advantage among men. According to the exit poll data, that pattern was reversed this time around, with men preferring Trump by a 13-point margin and women choosing Harris by a smaller 8-point margin. So why? We could cite Trump's oft-remarked-upon podcast tour that wasn't rivaled by Harris, but the real question is why that worked. Well this is where I have to do something kinda painful and admit that think I'm part of the Democrats' problem. How can one tell? Because I didn't really see the problem with pro-Harris ads like this and this.
Of course, neither of those were created by the Kamala Harris campaign itself, but that fact speaks to a larger communication problem that the Democrats, and Republicans who support them for that matter, have fairly broadly. Namely, many of them apparently view men much the way I do: like they don't really get men anymore and are kind of afraid of them. On tries not to view the other sex as a foreign species, but I know that to me the level of anger and entitlement that I often see displayed in the online "manosphere" that seems to be massively gaining in influence these days comes off as...well it comes off to me like women won some legal rights, divorced abusive husbands and started going to college and getting careers, got established on more their own terms, developed these misandrist things called standards and expectations of their partners as a result of having more financial independence and consequently delayed marriage and childbirth, whereupon birth rate panic set in, and so now it's time to ban women from voting and restrict access to divorce. Women have more freedom today than in the past and many if not most men simply can't handle it. Without being able to bark orders at the women in their lives, men fall into a loneliness epidemic and lose their entire sense of purpose in life because controlling women was their whole purpose for living. That's what it looks like to me anyway. I don't understand it. I don't understand this trend we're seeing on X of guys just spouting out shit like "Get back in the kitchen!" and "Your body, my choice!". I don't get it, but I am scared of it. And no, I truly don't understand how the real problem here is women calling that behavior and those attitudes toxic. They are toxic and yes, in a specifically gendered way. I definitely understand what it is to feel incomplete, lonely, and depressed, but I don't go around demanding that others forfeit their rights over it and it's difficult to stop and feel your pain and offer you compassion when you're trying to enslave me. (Well okay, maybe not me, I'm too old and ugly, but you know what I mean.)
This though is a feminist mindset, which today is one held by just 24% of the country's population. (31% of women, 17% of men.) Perhaps it's one less trusting of the male sex than is merited. There is very, very real, lived experience behind my tendency toward threat assessment, but no doubt the fact that the Democratic Party orbit communicates with or about men in the language of assumption or danger is nonetheless insulting and offensive. Maybe the Democratic Party and its orbit tend to think too much like me of gender relations these days to be viable.
But what of Kamala Harris herself? What was the role of gender in her actual campaign? ...Well to me it was that I found her more relatable than other candidates either party has nominated to date in my lifetime. I don't just mean that in a policy sense, but also in the subtle ways, like the fact that, in discussing the economy and what to do about it, she'd usually talk about not just male-dominated work like manufacturing, construction, and tech like most politicians do, but also would spend much time discussing the care economy and the service sector. Little things like that that just seemed instinctive to her had a way of making me feel more seen than I'd been used to. I don't recall her running on identity politics. Y'know, she didn't give her acceptance speech in suffragette white or make a point of highlighting her sex on the campaign trail that I can recall. But she did let you know in policy terms and in her feminine method of communication that she got you.
Much of the challenge for women running for the head-of-state position though is convincing everyone that a woman can be tough enough for the job. Unlike lower-level public offices, after all, the president handles military affairs, diplomatic relations, and has more influence on border policy. Will a woman be too soft? Will she be able to stand up to the dictators, terrorists, and other bad actors on the world stage? There's reliably a slice of the population that worries about these things. I remember hearing in some of the focus groups after the Harris-Trump debate people voicing reassurance that Harris was capable of being a strong leader because she had been able to go toe-to-toe with Trump, who they viewed as an example of an authoritarian figure himself, and put him in his place. But as the experts also point out, female leaders who are viewed as tough are also typically seen as less likable (it's not very feminine, after all), so there can be a bit of a catch-22 situation there where you simply can't win. So yes, I think sexist assumptions about how women are or how they're supposed to be certainly continue to play at least some role in presidential elections in this country.
Is it possible to elect a female president in this country? I don't know, probably not. Only a woman with the support of most men can win, I think, and that would have to be a Republican one and I see very little interest from Republicans in ever nominating a woman. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems to me like most women around the world who've been democratically elected to head-of-state positions have been more conservative ones. Frankly, I don't think the Democrats should nominate a woman for president again, or at least not for another generation at minimum. Simply going back to these being contests between men would make our elections feel less personal and hurtful to me.
Last edited by Jaicee - on 23 November 2024