Still thinking about this, and wanting to try and help. If you find yourself struggling to keep your mind clear of negative thoughts, I have an idea for you.
Here's the plan for a perfect evening. And I want you to actually do this lol D:
- Take a nice, long, hot shower until you're squeaky clean. You'll know you did this step correctly if you are unable to see your hand in front of your face through the steam.
- Draw a smiley face in the steamed up bathroom mirror. Maybe give it a moustache or a sombrero.
- Dry yourself off and put on your comfiest jammies. (Sometimes I intentionally don't dry my hair very much because I like when it's still a little bit wet and cold.)
- Find your favorite place in your house and light up a couple scented candles, or perhaps start a fire in your fireplace, if applicable. Make the area perfect for *you*. For me, this is the bedroom where I sleep. I like to light a candle and make sure the room is nice and clean (for +2 mood points). I'll make my bed, and then my gaming spot is to sit on the bed, as I have my TV on the wall positioned in front of it.
- At this point, you are clean, your gaming haven is ready to go, and you are in your favorite place. Preparations are almost complete. Now is the appropriate time to order pizza or chinese food, or whatever you think would be perfect at the time.
- All systems ready for take off. Since food is on the way, starting to play a game now would mean being interrupted in 20 minutes, so what I like to do first is to watch something on YouTube or check VGC or other gaming sites.
- When the food arrives, I'll eat while I continue watching YouTube, and maybe for a short while after. Once I'm done eating and wrapped up with whatever I was doing, I will turn on the TV and load up whatever game I'm interested in playing.
- I don't drink alcohol, but if I did, this is probably when I would pour a glass of wine, but since I don't, I usually take my prescription anxiety medicine as I find it makes me more comfortable.
- The rest of the night is about playing videogames and enjoying yourself. I'm more of a night-owl, so I'll oftentimes stay up until 3 a.m. or later, and more often than not I'll fall asleep with the controller in my hand (it's usually a fight to stay awake and play more, but I'll keep falling asleep and then waking up, thinking I can overcome the tiredness).
I'm an introvert, so for me, the idea of getting to lock myself in my room and play videogames all night is a fantasy, and when I can anticipate it, I'll plan out the evening and it usually goes something like this.
I hope it can help you keep your mind off of the burdens you have, and if it's not something you are able to do, I hope it was at least a good read.