While I certainly don't view my autism in a negative light, I actually think being diagnosed at 19 was one of the best things to happen to me. Not only was it just nice to have an answer as to why I thought and felt so differently to others instead of constantly wondering what was wrong with me, it also put me on the path to finding a career I love in advocacy.

Well glad it was able to help you. Seems like you at least have an upbeat to your life. Something that Dark needs to find.

For me, it was always easy to ignore and move forward as I never really wondered why i was different to others, instead I sometimes wondered why they were different to me lol. Even from an early age as an example I never really slept much. When I was young I could go without sleep for a week. Now I can't sleep till 3-4 am.  My brain never shuts off.  Time for me feels much quicker then for a lot of others. I get frustrated at how slow people do things when things can be done 2x or more quicker.  At the end of the day I never really went out of my way to make sure everyone is my friend because a lot of people frustrated me and we so different. The way I looked at it was there is 6 billion people in the world, if 99.9999% of them hate me so be it, 10 really close friends is good enough for me.

I do appreciate your advice. My ex and I talk 3-4 times a week through text and on the phone still. We go to different Universities and she said she wants to come visit me soon. I am still trying to be a better person. I have backed off on her, at first  I improved over the course of 3 months and asked her out a couple of times. She said no but still wanted to be friends so i just gave up entirely but i still make a point to stay in contact. She does seem to still have affection towards me. One small part of me hopes that soon she changes her mind but i'm not gonna hold my breath. We've been broken up  for 5 months now. Another thing that gives me hope is I rarely message her first. She is usually the one reaching out to me

Well, I'm glad you've found a solution that works for you. I generally try to look on the bright side of life; I realize I can sometimes come off as quite bitter and pessimistic on VGChartz but that's mostly cos I often bottle it up in real life and vent online. 

I want friends and I want a girlfriend but some people just can't make them. People are different. I really can't engage people in conversations, I have absolutely nothing to talk about. After talking to people, all you want to do is just walk away and be alone and not talk again because it's so embarrassing and awful yet later on you feel lonely again but you can't really do anything about it. It's a special kind of hell. For some people socialising is really difficult/impossible. Some people such as myself never truly fit in, always feel awkward around people and never feel relaxed unless you're alone. Don't take your social skills for granted, people. That's your most important skill. Without it, you aren't even human.

I feel it's easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than for a guy to get a girlfriend since guys have to do the approaching and asking out, initiating, etc., I hate how people argue by saying "for every girl that has a boyfriend that guy has a girlfriend" DUH I KNOW THAT!!!!, but the guy had to do all of the god damn work in order to make it happen, since guys are expected to take action by making the first move and asking out, etc. Meanwhile girls have the final say and that doesn't really require much effort socially. Seriously, what is the whole logic behind why going after what you want is a masculine thing? Don't give me bullshit answers saying it's the way it is, I believe there is a logical explanation behind everything in life, a reason for everything.

https://www.mysanantonio.com/opinion/commentary/article/Aspergers-focused-but-living-in-a-fog-6646768.php

Asperger worked with children who, while bright, exhibited the symptoms we now associate with the syndrome. The youngsters displayed poor communications skills, including a lack of empathy with their peers. And they lived in a different world, as if their environment were a tidy little box that few outsiders could open.

So what is the harm in creating your own box, your own space? We all carve out our little havens, our little sanctuaries, right? The difference is that those with Asperger’s are obsessed with their worlds, sometimes annoyingly so, and they do not understand when others are not as obsessed as they are.

They can be remarkably passionate and eloquent, but passion and eloquence have a shelf life, and when it comes to conversations, they pontificate long after the expiration date. They can go on and on and on, their sentences interrupted by clauses, as if their talks were prepared speeches, complete with colons, semi-colons and, sometimes, periods. This makes bonding with them difficult.

“Some people with ASD have the desire to fit in or want to make friends, while most do not desire to make friends,” said Ramirez, who has guided both me and my loved one. “They prefer to be in their own world and with their own interests and where they can control their environment.”

While I certainly don't view my autism in a negative light, I actually think being diagnosed at 19 was one of the best things to happen to me. Not only was it just nice to have an answer as to why I thought and felt so differently to others instead of constantly wondering what was wrong with me, it also put me on the path to finding a career I love in advocacy.

I have extreme Social anxiety, paranoid schizophrenia, avoidant personality disorder, bipolar, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Aspergers Syndrome/Autistic spectrum disorder. My conditions severely impair my ability to work with other people, inability to cope with criticism, prone to anger and the emotional maturity of a small child.

I have deluded views on the world I find it hard to differentiate between reality and fantasy. I speak in a robotic monotone voice. I avoid eye contact. I am extremely socially isolated and a loner. I keep to myself and I do not engage conversations and I avoid social events. I try to avoid conflict and found it is better to avoid social situations because I have a tendency to be a jerk towards other people.

I have Asperger's" is no excuse. If a kid says something rude to you, you tell them why it was rude and why they shouldn't do that. If an adult does the same, and you rebuff them, and they just say "I have Asperger's, so I do that," then you tell them to go f**k themselves. If they say "oh, sorry..." then you accept their apology. People with Asperger's can learn social skills and not be a jerk. People can overcome it through effort and practice, so using it to excuse as*hole behavior is bullshit.

Unemployable = undateable! No wonder I never had the confidence to approach and talk to women. I am ashamed of my life and there is not much I can do about it. I have now accepted the reality of my life and I have nothing to offer.

I used to have a Disney fairy tale view of the world everything would fall into my lap: employment, business opportunities, winning the lottery, friends and women. I would not have to do anything for it, it would magically come to me if I believed enough.