After getting some practice in milking the cow in 1, 2, Switch, I can see me and my boyfriend having another tugging contest. Got to hand it to Nintendo, they are open to all sexual orientations with Switch.

Hey baby,
Wanna make the Switch from you're loser boyfriend to a real man?

So next year will be my last highschool year, I could study to close with a good grade OR spend the whole year trying to hook-up girls using the Switch, I'm leaning towrds the second choice

...I feel like I'm in middle school again.

No but there are rumours that it will give his penis HD Rumble if he buys (a rather expensive) accessoire with Nintendo's seal of quality. 

So will brushing my teeth, but I'm gonna wait for the cost of toothpaste to go down.

Does that mean Europeans get more women?

Ahaha we all knew that would come in handy, in some way xD

A better workout than Wii Fit? =p

My gf said my hair is residing, i best buy a switch to fix that issue :P

There is no girl in the universe that is gonna look at me and think i'm more attractive because I have a Switch. In fact I can pretty much guarantee that if I ever busted one out in public and started playing it, most would actually find me less attractive.