A lot of it sounds fake, especially the Pokken thing
But if I had to choose one of them to be true it'd be this one:

-ZeldaU is releasing Holiday 2014. Much darker and mature - u can feel the spirt of majoras mask in it.

I will honestly buy a WiiU on ZeldaU's release day if it's a darker themed game
(My favorites are TP and OOT, loved the atmosphere of MM but didn't actually like the game, probably because of the time mechanics and lack of dungeons)

Really? Namco is working on Smash Bros. Atlus on Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem. Tecmo Koei on Hyrule Warriors. Sega has a third Sonic title set to be exclusive to a Nintendo system (or both systems) and published by Nintendo. Platinum Games made Wonderful 101 and is making Bayonetta 2. Dragon Quest remains exclusive to Nintendo systems in recent times. Monster Hunter seems to be going the same way.

The rumour suggests that there's going to be a lot more from the Japanese publishers. And it's believable for one simple reason: Sony delayed the PS4 in Japan in order to release earlier in most other regions. Add this to the relatively weak performance of Vita (compared to 3DS), and you have a picture of the Japanese publishers having shifted their support more to Nintendo over the last year or so, independent of Wii U sales figures. And with Nintendo doling out their big franchises to those publishers to create crossovers or regular entries, it's believable that part of that deal was that the respective third parties also make other games for Nintendo platforms.

So why haven't we heard about them? Think about it - what games have we been told about regarding 2014, on WiiU or 3DS, third-party or first-party, in genres that have struggled on Nintendo systems or genres that have flourished on Nintendo systems? Nintendo often likes to be the one to announce titles, and they'd have good reason to stockpile announcements for something big. It's SOP for Nintendo, Sony, and MS to arrange with third parties to hold off on announcements so that the console makers can announce them at E3. Nintendo has shifted away from E3 and onto Nintendo Directs, but the principle still holds.

Of course, I don't believe the rumour itself. But I do expect stronger Wii U support from Japanese publishers this year.

Unless they make this their first hour-long Nintendo Direct, this list is already shoddily put together to instigate false hope.

This humor mill will falter like all the other direct-centered ones.

I like all that I read... if only....

So fake.

Saying at least three old franchises will return gives it away. That's just too vague and too specific at the same time.

Not happening. It's a fan's wishlist. If they are going to lie, make it somewhat realistic (like one Metroid instead of two and coming out in 2015. There is no way they would release Metroid and Zelda one month from each other anyway).

I can't see these rumours anywhere on Gaf. Anyone got a link to the thread..?

we already know Zelda will be at E3 this year, so its easy to predict that it will be a holiday 2014 game.

Ok, lets rate the probability of each affirmation (true/probable/possible/false), you can comments if you like:

1. Nintendo is working for several years on a new System. Not just a gaming system.
2. Nintendo Direct is planed for this upcoming week = Mario kart 8 release date, Super smash bros release date, two new game announcements
3. Pokken is real. Pokemon/Tekken. Release date set for September 2014.
4. Two Metroid games in development. One almost finished. Releasing Oktober 2014.
5. ZeldaU is releasing Holiday 2014. Much darker and mature - u can feel the spirt of majoras mask in it.
6. Japanese third partys are gathering closer around Nintendo. New exclusive deal and ips are going to be revealed.
7. We are going to see at least 3 old long anticipated franchises from Nintendo this year
8. New miyamoto ip. Only information is that there is no information. Kept very secret.
9. eShop and retail games are getting cheaper
10. Nintendo is going to drop some huge game changing surprises

Here are mine:
1. False
2. Probable, the 2 new games could be eShop titles
3. False
4. Probable. The "almost finished" game could be for the 3DS and the other one could be for the Wii U
5. False. Style and dates don't make a lot of sense
6. Possible. Some could be (Sega, Namco, Tecmo), some others no (Konami, others)
7. False. Too many, too fast; but he says SEE, not release, soooo you never know.
8. True. We don't know anything and we will not know in the near future
9. Possible. But only for Nintendo published games
10. Possible. But till E3 2014, not sooner.

I just want a direct this month, I don't expect all that, but it would be nice to have some news.