Old Smash Bros 64 Review: Terrible Game That Will Never Succeed

wiiforever

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wiiforever on 13 February 2008

^maybe he was a sony fanboy back then

thekitchensink

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thekitchensink on 13 February 2008

"The nobody-does-it-better multi player mode is there too, like that’s what it’s really all about. However, there’s no way I’m going to ask three friends over just to see if this is the secret of Smash’s success; I want to keep what few friends I have. I’ll not ask them to endure this pap with me. "

So, to paraphrase: "Yes, multiplayer is the best part of the game and it is the focus, but I'm not even going to try it and I'll base the review as if it wasn't even there."

So..... biased much?

Could I trouble you for some maple syrup to go with the plate of roffles you just served up?

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ClaudeLv250 on 13 February 2008

I'm putting this here purely for archival purposes.

Shaun Conlin is a douche.

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Chadius on 13 February 2008

I love how this review doesn't talk about the gameplay until halfway through the review.

And of course, completely ignores multiplayer. This was like people who complained that they'd have to buy 4 GBAs to play FF: Crystal Chronicles.

There is no such thing as a console war. This is the first step to game design.

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MaxwellGT2000 on 13 February 2008

EP has a lot of horrible reviews and reviewers, Tommy Tellerico (sp?) is probably one of the worst I've ever seen, I hate him as a game reviewer, but highly respect his arranging ability being a music player myself, he should stick to what he's good at, music. This Shaun Conlin guy that reviewed Smash 64 sounds just as bad, reviewers integrity should just be like a news paper, if the news reported a bias report you can't trust them, if a reviewer doesn't do his research he also can't be trusted and actually should be fired for not doing their job, I'm sure there would be lots of people wanting a job where you play games all day.

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BenKenobi88 on 13 February 2008

Chadius said:
I love how this review doesn't talk about the gameplay until halfway through the review.

And of course, completely ignores multiplayer. This was like people who complained that they'd have to buy 4 GBAs to play FF: Crystal Chronicles.

Uh, that is a bit more reasonable of a complaint...

Even if you have 3 other friends with GBAs...you still have to buy the GBA-GC cables for each person. It requires you to buy accessories that aren't standard with the Gamecube...it requires a separate handheld system for each person. Quite different and worth some negative points, mainly because the benefit of using GBAs wasn't that great anyway.

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Final-Fan on 13 February 2008

Some more gems:

"Adding insult to wet-spaghetti injury,"
What?

"You don’t KO your opponents, after all, you merely whittle down their hit points then perform what would otherwise be a "fatality" by booting them off the platform."
Wow. You whittle down their hit points.

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BenKenobi88 on 13 February 2008

Hehe...I love how he's trying to perform this mystical "fatality" move after so much hitting on his opponent.

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