By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and our Terms of Use. Close

Forums - Gaming - Final Fantasy 13-3 to top Skyrim with Boob Waggle... Madnes Ensues

Thread title is mine, yet the following words are not my own. Boob waggle is confirmed and the game is meant to top Skyrim. Although it is unlikely Square Enix mean sales numbers, since no Final Fantasy game has sold more copies than Skyrim.

http://gamingbolt.com/square-enix-wants-lightning-returns-final-fantasy-xiii-to-beat-skyrim

Ignored amid all the news of Lightning going from a C-cup to a D-cup in Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII (don’t ask), director Motomu Toriyama and “wilderness lead planner” Yui Umeda talked about how the game was meant to “beat Skyrim” (or “Sukairimu” as it’s pronounced in Japan) in their interview with Famitsu.

Seriously.

Umeda stated that, “The wilderness is designed with a natural open world style of play in mind. Toriyama’s first instruction was ‘beat Skyrim!’ That may be a tall order with the resources on hand, but as this is FF we decided it might be best to approach it by letting you run about on a chocobo. Also, although there is lots of freedom in the wilderness, there is only one goal but with many paths to accomplishing it.”

Yes, they have just now decided to implement a “natural open world style of play”. Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII is the third game in the saga which began with Final Fantasy XIII, and will be releasing on February 11th 2014 in North America and February 14th in Europe for the Xbox 360 and PS3.

http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2013-07/31/final-fantasy-is-dead

Well, it's been a long time coming, but I think I'm gonna call it: Final Fantasy is dead.

It's hard to pinpoint an exact time of death on this one, but at some point during the last decade the world's foremost Japanese role-playing game series keeled over and kicked the bucket, and now Square Enix is pretty much just defiling the corpse. Here's an excerpt from a question-and-answer session on 27 July with Nobuhiro Goto and Motomu Toriyama, developers of the next game in the series, Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII.

Has [main character] Lightning gone from a C cup to a D cup?
Goto: Well, Toriyama-san said he wanted them bigger, so…

Toriyama: Hey, don't try to escape responsibility for this!

Goto: Yes, we made them bigger.

Was it a C cup, up until now? Are her breasts going to jiggle, this time?
Goto: Yes!

Toriyama: It depends on the clothing. Like if she's wearing corrective underwear.

Dengeki Online's report of the event noted further that since players can choose Lightning's costume and weaponry, they can ensure their preferred amount and duration of boob jiggling through judicious equipment selection. If you want to get a better view of all those mammarial undulations, one developer noted, just have her hold a smaller shield!

Hey, I'm the last person who's going to tell people what kinds of videogames they should and should not make. I like Leisure Suit Larry, and that game is 95 percent jokes about and/or pictures of breasts. There is room to create and play a whole wide variety of things. But if in 2013 this is what a Q&A session about Final Fantasy has become, then any claim that the series once had something approaching mainstream respectability done gone and caught the train out of town.

In its heyday, Final Fantasy was the ne plus ultra of console videogames based around strong, relatable characters and epic storylines. Sure, the games had their moments of levity, but mostly took themselves seriously enough to attempt to tackle subtle, complex themes on platforms that were largely dominated by paper-thin plots and cartoon characters. They pushed the boundaries, if imperfectly; despite what I may have believed in high school the writing was not exactly Shakespeare. But the ideas of orchestras playing the games' amazing musical scores or of  art galleries displaying the design work of Yoshitaka Amano were not out of the question. And surely today's game designers, the people making games like BioShock Infinite or The Last of Us, were inspired in part by early Final Fantasy.

What inspiration, if any, will breast-jiggling simulator Lightning Returns pass down to a new generation of game creators? Somewhere along the line, Final Fantasy lost the plot. Original creator Hironobu Sakaguchi is long gone, and if he attempted to pass the torch to a new generation they dropped it, let it go out in the dirt and kept running anyway. The 2001 game Final Fantasy X wasn't that bad, but the next game after that, the awkwardly-named Final Fantasy X-2, decided that what the series needed was to take all the female player characters, give them skimpier outfits and make them into J-pop stars.

And it was pretty much all downhill from there. The Final Fantasy hydra has many heads, and it's not just the console games that are continuing the legacy of the series. But everywhere you look, it's bad news. The original version of the  Final Fantasy XIV massively multiplayer online game was so poorly received by fans that Square Enix shut it down and rebuilt it from the ground up, at what had to be an exorbitant expense. And once the new version comes out, even if it's good, it's still going to be an MMO with a monthly fee in an era dominated by the free-to-play model. On mobile platforms we're getting games like Final Fantasy: All the Bravest, critically excoriated as a naked gameplay-free cash grab.

Cash cows don't last forever. The declining sales of Final Fantasy games, following the  utter mess that was Final Fantasy XIII, should indicate that. At this point, it's tough to see a path back to relevance for Final Fantasy, if the caretakers of the series are spending their creative cycles thinking about the particulars of breast physics. That's not why the Final Fantasy brand still carries the cachet that it does, and the modern games are at this point living entirely off an inherited reputation.

You had a good run, Final Fantasy, and it was nice knowin' ya.



Around the Network
A203D said:

Has [main character] Lightning gone from a C cup to a D cup?
Goto: Well, Toriyama-san said he wanted them bigger, so…

Toriyama: Hey, don't try to escape responsibility for this!

Goto: Yes, we made them bigger.

Was it a C cup, up until now? Are her breasts going to jiggle, this time?
Goto: Yes!

Toriyama: It depends on the clothing. Like if she's wearing corrective underwear.

uhhhhh...what kinda game will we be playing here :p

seems my interst in the game has slightly peaked



Oh, just make one of her end-game "costumes" be absolutely nothing. We know you want to.



Pretty obvious they know 13 is perceived as a trainwreck by the majority of the fanbase and they just want to have as much fun with this one as possible. I can't imagine the people that buy this game don't like Lightning. Also with FF15 announced they've got no worries in the world.



It seems as though Sega has passed the crazies along to Square Enix. Maybe that's why they are making some alright decisions with their games recently. I say that's a solid conclusion.



Around the Network
the-pi-guy said:

Good job giving yourself a metaphorically thumbs up.  That's usually what other people do for you.  Good job.  See like that.  

Good job me.  

Though I should ask since I don't follow Sega at all, what have they done recently?

You really lingered on that for awhile, didn't you?

Anyhow, they decided to make a Sonic game in cahoots with Nintendo. One of their best decisions yet. (Also, Sonic Generations + Colors were good games. Much better than their dark days.)



This game can't beat Skyrim unless it lets me steal clothing from other women.



xenoblade has boob waggle and beats skyrim... This plan works! :P except in sales... No RPG's gonna beat skyrim in sales imo. Not even Morrowind retroactively D:



the-pi-guy said:

Nah, didn't mean any disrespect, I just thought it was funny.  True, true, but they haven't really made many major sellers by themselves in awhile I don't think.  

I overthink things, so I often never say anything, so maybe I did linger on that.  Quite frankly I'm lingering on my mistake. "metaphorically thumbs up" makes no sense.  

If only it was possible to pass craziness onto others.  We could pass all our craziness to one person and then there are a few ways to go after that.  

While it is true that their games haven't been selling what they use to, at least they are of better quality.

Quality is nicer than sales when your bad games also didn't sell all too well.



Beat Skyriim eh?

All they have to do is release with 9,999 bugs instead of 10,000. Hooray!