The problem i find is that on one hand there is hard moderation of "I love Xbox" or "I love Sony" posts (which lets be honest isn't the end of the world)... - some users get very upset too easily, but there is a lot of junk posts relating to some very dodgy subjects... (wont repeat them here but mainly to do with drugs/religion or sex)...which don't seem to get locked...

It brings the site down...(especially as its supposed to be a gaming website) and i sometimes wonder if i want to bother being here... perhaps i am just too old.... don't get todays youth...lol

i'm sure there aren't more offensive posts against woman as about men here. you can read something which could be interpreted as offensive against men in almsot every single thread but nobody cares because men don't care about those posts. most will find them funny (or don't care) and not offensive.

most woman don't like that kind of "humour", that's true and that's why i wouldn't post something like that to a woman here but i'm sure there is not more offensive stuff against woman as against men here (if you think a post like the example in op is offensive)

so yeah, i think it has absolutely nothing to do with something against woman if we get such a joke from time to time but still, if the forum rules forbid that and you report such a post moderators should check it.

Oh, you shouldn't be worried about being direct, because my OP is very blunt and to the point. Harsh or not, this is the line you have chosen to follow and I and others have pointed out many of the consequences that result from it. This is not really about bending over backwards to address someone's sensitivities... I really laugh at this, because to me... remaining curteous is not a matter of being thick-skinned or even being a good poster, but it is kinda a prerequisite to having actual discussion with people.. you can't have a discussion with them and purposely say stuff you know might offend them. Doesn't that actually make your job harder?

It's counter-intuitive for any poster to do and say things to set people off... unless of course that is what they do, because it is easy entertainment.

So why is this sort of stealth trolling not important to the moderators? I try to be more curteous because there are people here who I do like to talk with and even people whose criticisms I largely disagree with, they provide interesting discussion.... the problem is, many here are saying they do not like the standard that is being set (which is too low for me) and have stated their points. Rather than listen to them, you're telling someone you will not be bending over backwards for them... which is dismissive, and doesn't even bother to address the actual criticism itself.

Lemme put this out there for example...

You say you are "moderating", but then leave the comments up on the site to be read for just anyone who will take that offensive matter further...  that said, plenty of stealth trolling goes on and it's just a lost cause to set a standard I feel. If you are too afraid to "hide" such posts because people might question the bans and maybe one person might get offended... isn't that kinda counter to what you just said about not having to bend to what people say?

I have a lot of empathy for the actual job of moderating. I've done it and I have been truly miserable doing it. I've administrated a few forums and communities in the past with people far more immature than the groups on this site... actually running it and programming the site, being in shoes I probably wasn't thick skinned enough for at the time.... My point is, I know it can be done... to me, it's hypocritical to say the moderation team cares enough to do one thing to stay transparent but then seems unwilling to see the whole matter of "taunting" that goes on all over the forum as "fair game" because it's a "joke".... or "We don't care if you feel welcome, but hey, feel welcome and btw just put up with it?"...

How am I supposed to be welcome if the message is, just get over it... your opinion matters less than others because we're a minority, even though a majority of us are like "Please, could you guys stop?..." <-- results in taunting everytime!

There are plenty of people here who are asking for a compromise...

I do not wish to see people banned left and right as that doesn't fix the problem. I just wish posts were actually moderated and removed from discussion rathern than let it go this sad route continuously. If it's frequent, something needs to be done. If it's every once in a while... who cares... it's the fact, the religious intolerance (which I agree with) that has been mentioned, the female issue, and other "anti-unpopular" issues that are allowed to breed here is basically skewing this whole site into the gutter.

I understand your point. However, there are other issues than just overt offenses. I do not agree with censorship or that the moderation should simply negate every single comment that is offensive *laughs*... I have never said that.

I have simply pointed out there are trends here are growing quickly and many have pointed out as well (erring on the side of intolerance). I am fine with a joke every once in a while, in fact, there are many that are tastefully done... however, the message is being sent that as long as you are under the radar, it's acceptable. You do realize, this is not really an issue for you because you're not female and oftentimes, you're probably smart enough to stay in a position it does not become a problem for you... for us girls, just stating we are females, opens up us to the problem and I suspect that for many others following an unpopular mode of thinking, this is pretty much all the same.

Ideally, I think the mods should at least be able to see the users as a group, recognize where a trend that is growing and just do what is right and act on it. I'm not asking for a whole lot more... I am criticizing the actual "moderation" though of not deleting comments... lol I'm really assuming it has to do with transparency, but I think that anyone can bear witness to a bad moderation without actually needing to leave it up as actual proof. It doesn't actually help keep the standard, it encourages stealth trolling and people to be submissive to the thin line between banned and not... I've witnessed many people laugh and do it for amusement, things to purposely get banned to make a point... they could care less and it acts as a trophy for them to keep it still there.

All things in moderation.

I think part of the disconnect is that people feel that we're talking about establishing a double standard.  Most people here (I think) don't want a forum where badgenome gets banned for making a joke about a penis.  Yet we're supposed to stay away from PMS?  This doesn't really make a lot of sense, not in regards to a cohesive experience.  It's having different rules for different genders.  I guess in that respect it's just like television, where males are constantly insulted on sitcoms with zero fallout.

yes and yes

You're dealing with a immature demographic, you're going to get poor attitudes like this. Reporting and moving on might be the correct response but if half the guys in here who agreed with you actually stood up against those being sexist it would have far more impact than any mod actions could. If you want these forums to be a healthier place then it starts by making those with poor outdated attitudes look like the sexist,racist, etc, etc people they are.

Ok I have completely lost track of where this thread has gone lol...

I really don't see anymore need for me to say anything. I have pretty much made my point. Nobody seems to want to put on different glasses to see if a compromise can be made. I think many good points were made... I agree with Rol, and I'm sorry, not going to go find the post to quote it... but I think that yes, not ALL posts should be deleted lol... but, definitely, ones taking the lead to put the thread in a very bad direction or outright encouraging aggressive behavior, they need to be at least edited (that portion deleted).

.... I have already more or less pulled back from the forums just by my own reactive nature and I just don't see a point to continue the argument where there is none. If the moderators don't care, then there's no solution.