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Forums - General Discussion - ‘You’ve made your choice’: Man shares dad’s brutal letter disowning him for being gay

Player1x3 on 08 August 2012
Mr Khan said:
Player1x3 said:
crissindahouse said:
hard to believe how much hate is in some against something to even do this to an own kid.


It wasn't a hateful letter. Some of the responses here definitely are, tho

Hate is not necessarily bound to anger. Just because the letter was not laced with death threats does not make it less hateful. If anything, it is more hateful, for the man has some form of regret that he must disown his son, and yet disowns him. This is hate at its most pure, not tinted with emotions which might excuse it, but institutionalized, conciously chosen hate.

It is this kind of hate that must be purged from the world.

That must be why he wished him a good life and future at the end, because he hates him.

All you did there was just speculate based on nothing, for all we know, he is probably devouring himself from inside out of pain, but that is also just a baseless speculation. But if we were to judge him from the letter alone, there was no hatred at all



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Player1x3 on 08 August 2012
Cub said:
Player1x3 said:

All i was saying is that there were no hatred in that letter nor towards his son. That's why i quoted. Whether or not he actually hates gays is unknown to us and like you said, it could be something entirely different. His son might have AIDS, for all we know

 

You know, gay couples are a lot more likely to get AIDS than heterosexuals... just putting that out there :)


So what if he has AIDS? wow I feel sorry for your kids.

wow...



Cub on 08 August 2012
Player1x3 said:
Cub said:
Player1x3 said:
 

All i was saying is that there were no hatred in that letter nor towards his son. That's why i quoted. Whether or not he actually hates gays is unknown to us and like you said, it could be something entirely different. His son might have AIDS, for all we know

 

You know, gay couples are a lot more likely to get AIDS than heterosexuals... just putting that out there :)


So what if he has AIDS? wow I feel sorry for your kids.

wow...


What wow? what if his son had AIDS? that's enough reason to disown him?



Jay520 on 08 August 2012
Player1x3 said:

You know, gay couples are a lot more likely to get AIDS than heterosexuals... just putting that out there :)


Does that make you happy or is it humorous to you? Why include a smiley face?



Cub on 08 August 2012
Jay520 said:
Player1x3 said:
crissindahouse said:
Player1x3 said:
crissindahouse said:
Player1x3 said:
crissindahouse said:
Player1x3 said:
crissindahouse said:
hard to believe how much hate is in some against something to even do this to an own kid.


It wasn't a hateful letter. Some of the responses here definitely are, tho

maybe i understood the text wrong but there is a father who said his son he does never want to see him anymore because he said him that he is gay right? yeah sounds like a nice father too me.

I didn't say he was a good father, but if you hate someone (im using the actual definition of hatred here, not the new left wing definition) you would not wish him a good life and fortune at the end of the letter

i didn't say he hates his son. i said he hates something (the idea of beeing gay) so much that he did that to his son, taking his own son his father for the whole rest of his life.

It still wasn't a hateful letter and he doesn't hate his son. Also, thinking something is wrong doesn't always mean you hate it

why do you repeat the "he doesn't hate his son" point if i explained to you that i did never say this? i know you are always in these threads with something about gay problems beeing the one saying it's not as bad and such things because you are as well not very cool with that idea (i believe you were even banned because of that once or twice, sry if i'm wrong i believe you were the one) and you can think what you want but seriously, i don't believe thinking something is just wrong doesn't let someone say his son he will never let him in his house anymore and he does never want to see him again. and not sure what so bad with the word "hate" to say that he doesn't hate the idea of beeing gay doing that to his son. as example i hate muggy weather but i don't think i have as much problems with that then the father had that his son is gay. so, with my definition of that word, if i hate something like that, he absolutely hates the idea of beein gay because he likes it even less than i like muggy weather^^

and yeah we never know the real story so maybe that was about something totally different and not even about gay...

All i was saying is that there were no hatred in that letter nor towards his son. That's why i quoted. Whether or not he actually hates gays is unknown to us and like you said, it could be something entirely different. His son might have AIDS, for all we know

 

You know, gay couples are a lot more likely to get AIDS than heterosexuals... just putting that out there :)


Does that make you happy or is it humorous to you? Why include a smiley face?


He also thinks that if your son has AIDS you should disown him :)



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IIIIITHE1IIIII on 08 August 2012

I never thought the discussions in this thread would turn out to be almost as saddening as the actual letter...



Jay520 on 08 August 2012
happydolphin said:

1.) Putting the "gay topic" out of it, I can understand that a person does not want to be in the company of an adult that decides to live a life they disagree with.

2.) I didn't say I admired him in everything, don't misconstrue. I was saying I admired his ability to respect his own convictions, that's all. Of all the virtues we don't see today, that is one of them. He may be wrong, but at least he did what he thought was right and did it in a deeply considered manner, at least that's how it seems.

1.) Firstly, using the word 'decides' suggests that he diliberately became gay. That's debatable. Secondly, We're not talking about just any adult. We're talking about his son. How can you admire disownment because of something as trivial as a person's sexual orientation? Just because someone feels strongly about something doesn't mean it's right. As long as his son's lifestyle doesn't directly harm the father's lifestyle, then there is no justified reason to disown him for it.

2.) There's a difference between respecting your own convictions and completely blocking off contact with someone because of it. I don't mind him disapproving of his son's lifestyle, but there's no reason to stop showing love and contact with him. Simply becoming an adult doesn't make you imune to the affects of neglect from a significant family member. 



happydolphin on 08 August 2012
Mr Khan said:

Hate is not necessarily bound to anger. Just because the letter was not laced with death threats does not make it less hateful. If anything, it is more hateful, for the man has some form of regret that he must disown his son, and yet disowns him. This is hate at its most pure, not tinted with emotions which might excuse it, but institutionalized, conciously chosen hate.

It is this kind of hate that must be purged from the world.

I didn't read it that way at all. I sensed conviction from his letter, not "sheepism".

Yes, doing things like this that you aren't even deeply convinced of, due to brainwashing or whatever, definitely should be purged from the world. I don't think that's what happened here, and I think you're reading into it something that is not clear from the letter, rather the letter displays the opposite, something that was thought out and was painfully written.



happydolphin on 08 August 2012
Jay520 said:
happydolphin said:

1.) Putting the "gay topic" out of it, I can understand that a person does not want to be in the company of an adult that decides to live a life they disagree with.

2.) I didn't say I admired him in everything, don't misconstrue. I was saying I admired his ability to respect his own convictions, that's all. Of all the virtues we don't see today, that is one of them. He may be wrong, but at least he did what he thought was right and did it in a deeply considered manner, at least that's how it seems.

1.) Firstly, using the word 'decides' suggests that he diliberately became gay. That's debatable. Secondly, We're not talking about just any adult. We're talking about his son. How can you admire disownment because of something as trivial as a person's sexual orientation? Just because someone feels strongly about something doesn't mean it's right.

2.) There's a difference between respecting your own convictions and completely blocking off contact with someone because of it. I don't mind him disapproving of his son's lifestyle, but there's no reason to stop showing love and contact with him.

1) @bold. Okay, that's why I followed Zappykin's "Putting the 'gay topic' out of it" note. @rest. I never said what he did was right, jeez jay did you even read my other posts (don't take this comment too badly, I know I'm dialoguing on a subtlety, an important one)? I just said, specifically, that I admired his ability to respect himself and what he felt was right, deep down inside of him.

2) I'm not saying I disagree. But better be true to himself than live a lie imho and say everything's alright.



Jay520 on 08 August 2012
happydolphin said:

1) I never said what he did was right, jeez jay did you even read my other posts? I just said, specifically, that I admired his ability to respect himself and what he felt was right, deep down inside of him.

2) I'm not saying I disagree. But better be true to himself than live a lie imho and say everything's alright.


1.) The bold suggest that you think it's wrong what the father is doing. If so, then how could you admire him doing something as harmful as negligence...just because a person thinks he's doing the right thing? Your sole reasoning for admiring his actions is the fact that he is doing what he's thinks is right. Using that reasoning, one could also admire any person (rapists, killers, robbers) as long as that person is doing what he/she feels is right, deep down.

2.) You can be true to yourself and still communicate with someone who goes against your beliefs. It's not like the son's lifestyle harms the father's lifestyle.