Mog from FF6 - For social reasons I can't have myself being at all associated with FFXIII-2

An obese black momma or an anorexic asian girl

Anorexic Asian woman because I could be on my way to helping her to better eating habits with my load.

A hot woman with a giant clitoris (wish I could add picture, use imagination, not penis) , or an average woman taking sloppy seconds.

If this was an elimination game you would be losing points for no explanation. Oh and you so nasty with those picks, barf.

The second chick. Getting a handjob from her and living to tell the tale would be a thrilling experience, kind of like when people have their chute fail on them during a sky dive and walk away from it.

Tomonobu Itagaki or Hideo Kojima?

Itagaki as his games often contain women with gigantic tits and ass,  we could totally bang them together Ninja Gaiden Style

Seece or Truckosaurus?

Truck because I'm a dog person, too, so it would probably be less awkward for me.

Cliffy B or David Jaffe?

Cliff apparently likes dressing up in furries costumes, I would totally love to be tickled by his his fluffy rabbit tail. 

Blake Lively                                                                                                  or                               Miranda Kerr

Miranda Kerr by miles and miles.

A super hot chick who's a quadruple amputee with a double mastectomy, or a super hot chick who has a parasitic twin growing out of her stomach?

Hot chick with twin, Threesomes rule.

Ron Howard after he's been drinking all night, or Howard Dean after he's done watching midget porn?

In his political days he was known as a screamer, and I love a loud man in bed.

Simon Cowell judging your  performance the whole time or Gordon Ramsey screaming at you to do a bettr. Either way they make you their bitch.