This just goes to show you that being a jerk is a good way to make money.

Maybe I should start acting like a big douche so Nike pays me to stop wearing their shoes. Oh wait, that didn't work for LeBron James,did it?

They should have used that money to hire hitmen instead. The world would be a happier place.

That was the initial plan, but Rebecca Black's and Justin Bieber's "fans" made hitmen's fees skyrocket, so they had to fall back on plan B. 

Looks like I need a new job.

so what? It's sad that people watch this fake so called reality show.

This is one time when I wish that I didn't have to kill Francisco Scaramanga.

But why? If they killed my best friend elephant I'd have turned out the same way.

Exactly, I said that I wished that I kept him alive to take out that idiot from Jersey Shore.  I don't regret stuffing Nick Nack in that suitcase though.

Yes Nick Nack was annoying. But I guess as he hires, not DIY, it matters not if he were still around. 

You know you 'did' him because of that third nipple. You couldn't stand the fact that it wasn't a woman. In any event you may have ended up like Hai-Fat anyway.

I didn't 'do' Scaramanga.  And for the record, two nipples is perfect for a woman and four nipples for two women.  Three nipples doesn't ever work.  Hai-Fat always did love that masoleum.