| Killiana1a said: Alright, I am in one of my moods again. One of those moods where I want to take a sacred cow in gaming and roast it point-by-point until my friends list on Facebook is dropping quicker than the weight of a person afflicted with cachexia. Portal, yes a very lauded game. When I bought the Orange Box, I thought what in the hell is this? My friends fawned over it saying "Ooh wow it is the best puzzle game I have played since Tetris! You can open up holes in walls!" I replied, "Big effing deal, with Red Faction (2001) I could use explosives to create so many holes in the walls of a building that it looked like swiss cheese a second before it collapsed." Their response to this was a well...you just don't get it mumbling off feeling butthurt because not everyone agreed with them over their unanimous praise of Portal. No, I got it and I wish I could refund that part of the Orange Box to place a preorder down on Episode 3. A little over 3 years since the The Orange Box and Episode 2 was released and what do I hear? Portal 2 will be released in April 2011. Great...Episode 3 is most likely going to be Half-Life 3. I can live with that, but considering it has been 3 years since The Orange Box with Portal was released should I not expect Half-Life 3 to take 3 to 4 years to be created and be released? No, Portal is the pet of Gabe Newell and Valve now. I expect Portal 3 in 2014 and Half-Life 3 in 2015. Thank you Portal praisers who could not shut up online with your praise of the stupid 3 hour minute puzzle game. I say this with a level of disgust that only a soldier who has had a tour or 3 of war has for his enemies. You, Portal praisers, are the reason why Episode 3 and Half-Life 3 will not be out until 2015 and after Portal 3. Next time, love a game and write your praise in your diary, not on your blog or gaming forums. Eff you very much. /endrant |
This account is freshly made. Usually I don't bother admonishing people, but you've really managed to make an example of yourself. Let's go over just where you went wrong.
First of all, you compare Portal to Red Faction. Yes, making holes in walls with explosives is not new. But could you make a hole in front of you and one behind you, then enter the hole in front of you and come out of the hole behind you in Red Faction? No. Portal is unique in that aspect, and famous for it's brilliant physics engine. And unique is always a strong selling point.
This leads us onto your next wrong step. You failed to mention the unique aspect of Portal which is also it's bearing strength. Can you place explosives anywhere you want in the middle of a fall and then fall through your newly made hole to gain the speed you need to overcome obstacles in front of you? No. Again, Portal is unique here as well.
Shooter games and lots of guns are all too common, Portal really felt fresh for it's unique style, and I can't stress enough what a good selling point that is. Short as it was, it really challenged a lot of people, and solving problems that requires thinking is always more rewarding than shooting some random flunkeys head off. Also, how long the game took to finish depended on how much you played and how long it took you to solve problems. Maybe it's 3 hours for a genius who plays nonstop, but most of us don't do it that way, I ac tually completed Portal 1 yeasterday. My first attempt in years.
Portal had a very well thought out story. Portal 1 and 2 overbridged a lot of gaps between each other and left much room for speculation, and it also had a certain appeal that made you feel attached to the characters. This kind of well made storyline and character charm is what we need more of. Not more shooter games.
So in conclusion, if you want to "roast" a game, then argue constructively for it's flaws. You only complained about the length. Well, wonderful is short. But what really cracked me up is that you blame the Portal community for the delay of Half life episode 3 and Half life 3. I think we can all agree that we want to help Valve as much as we can. We would be doing a very bad job if we didn't give them honest feedback. And Portal 1 and 2 are VERY successful games. I have proof for that.
So, you could have trimmed your entire post down to "I hate the Portal games troll troll troll" because you couldn't have posted in a more unconstructive way. I'm going to quote GLaDOS... Where did your life go so wrong? Stop blaming us who likes it and realize that valve did a very great job. Also "roasting point by point" lol, well, this is something you really failed to do as you had NO points at all. Also, how in the holy name of god do you think the Half-life series would ever have gotten this far if people had not written in blogs and on gamer forums? That's the feedback that Valve base their future plans on. Stupid...
PS: I don't belong here and this will be my only post here, ever. My advice to you is to not try to talk down on something when you got no support at all for what you say, like the OP.
Extra PS: Portal 2 will grow a LOT in fame now that Valve have released a Portal 2 SDK. Oh, did I forget to mention the advanced maps in the original Portal? Solve them and then tell me you don't feel great satisfaction. I dare you. Oh, and the coming DLC's for Portal 2.
