1)  Mr. Fantastic - You could never truly be "hard" in any sense of the word.

 

2)  Professor X - Chrismas gifts are never a suprise.

 

3)  The Thing - You have to go to a gravel pit to take a dump. 

 

Provide your own... 

oh ok. but he is a  villian

Sandman-you could never go swimming.

Nighteyes_1981 said: 1) Mr. Fantastic - You could never truly be "hard" in any sense of the word.  - But you could stretch it large enough that no one would complain 2) Professor X - Chrismas gifts are never a suprise. - Screw surprises, you could make peole get you whatever you wanted  3) The Thing - You have to go to a gravel pit to take a dump.  - and if anyone made fun of you for it, you could bash their heads in with that same rocky dump Provide your own...

 I see no sucking here.

Your loyal young helper is gay, and probably is in love with you...

You wear your underware above your clothes...

The Incredible Hulk - You're always wearing purple pants.

The Incredible Hulk - When you get angry, your muscles and body increase in size to the point that your shirt rips away, and your calves expand enough burst your jeans apart, yet apparently everything from your stomach down to your knees just stays exactly the same.

Captain Planet - there is now intenet porn of you with Al Gore (not confirmed, except through rule 34)

Batman - You give your sidekick the chance to design his own costume and everyone assumes that YOU'RE the one who got his hand in the cookie jar, despite this your franchise is so successful that it's been revamped in more ways than Final Fantasy

Superman - Lawsuits galore over cancer being blamed on xray vision and global warming blamed on laser vision

Spiderman - 3 movies that proceed to take you from being a witty nerd, to being not just angsty, but downright emo. You consider cutting yourself

Flash - "Fastest man on earth" never did much for attracting the ladies, and it never will.

Wonder Twins - Jayna is a living bestiality advertisement and Zan could be beaten by a sponge, or a really thirsty person. Also, monkey throws poop

Grey Acumen said: Flash - "Fastest man on earth" never did much for attracting the ladies, and it never will.

 I like that one.

Someone will make a bad movie with crappy story and crappy CGI about you.

Rogue - You can't touch or have any intimate contact with anyone without sucking the life out of them.

Deadpool - Good news, you the experiment worked you have a super human healing factor. Bad news, don't take off your mask because you are horribly disfigured.

Iron Man - After decades you finally get your own feature film. Unfortunately you have to hope the actor playing you, Robert Downey Jr., can refrain from getting high long enough to finish the film.

Wonder Woman - You are blessed with the powers of the gods. You possess incredible strength, speed, and endurance. Not only do you have exceptional looks you are near indestructible as well. Unfortunately you shop for clothing at Whores R' Us.

Darc Requiem said: Wonder Woman - You are blessed with the powers of the gods. You possess incredible strength, speed, and endurance. Not only do you have exceptional looks you are near indestructible as well. Unfortunately you shop for clothing at Whores R' Us.

Actually, I consider Wonder Woman to have been one of the most tastefully dressed of the Super Heroines. I'm particularly digging her latest redesign.

If you want Slut's R US, you should go with supergirl. On that note:

 

Supergirl - Superman flies around in tights with his underwear where everyone can see it and it becomes accepted as standard superhero attire. You do the same thing, but at least add a skirt onto it, and everyone still labels you a slut. What do they want? A parka?