Secret plot is a go. She got it, and is entirely unaware

I know I have to make some changes to my lifestyle (cut down on the computer use and gaming and invest more time in social interaction, exercise, etc). But I don't truly really feel motivated to change. It's important to be social in order to improve my social skills (very important for the corporate world). But I find myself arranging social gatherings specifically to improve my social skills. Not due to some inherent desire to be social. As such, it feels like a chore in a way. My social circle has dwindled considerably over the years (due to keeping to myself a lot in recent years). And while my best friend is willing to hang out with me once in awhile, he doesn't want to do so on a consistent basis. And it feels like pulling teeth trying to make plans with old friends because they don't put in the same effort that I do in trying to get he ball rolling and they seem so busy with their own lives as is. When you don't feel like doing something that much anyway (being more social) and you find that it takes a lot of effort and you are putting more effort into it than others, it is very frustrating.

As for the exercise, I firmly believe I can get down to my old weight (I'm only a bit overweight) if I control my caloric
intake and exercise on a regular basis. But it's hard to find the motivation to set aside 30 minutes a day (or however much you need) to do the cardiovascular exercises on EA Sports Active. lol I picked that up because I figured that combining one of my hobbies (videogames) with exercise might work wonders. But at the end of the day it still feels like a chore. Losing weight is something I have to do for myself (maintaining good health). Not for other people. But even then it can be difficult to find the motivation. Relying solely on restricting caloric intake (which would mean I'd have to cut back my food intake even more to compensate for lack of exercise) would be easier on me than exercising but if you don't keep with that routine ("oh just this once I'll indulge" turns into indulging practically every day), it's very easy to gain that weight back in no time. I also feel more fatigued when I eat less.

As for the girlfriend thing, I'm not even sure if that's what I truly want. I'm not asexual and I do have his desire to feel that intoxicating feeling of "being in love" again. But I can't do the sex thing with a chick unless I trust her and have a certain level of comfort with her (trust and comfort usually go together). My last girlfriend told her girlfriends some things about our private sex life (specifically, she wanted sex like all the time and I was never in the mood. But yet she knew I would beat off to porn and shit. So this angered her a lot. But what can I say? I only went out with her because I knew she liked me and as a stupid teenager I felt like it was time to get a girlfriend so that I wouldn't appear like a loser anymore. I felt guilty about the fact that I wasn't really interested in this willing female that liked me. So I went out with her. But I just wasn't genuinely attracted to her. I'm not one of those guys that can hit it and quit it with obese chicks or really petite little chicks that look like little girls. If the girl isn't attractive, it's not going up. That's just the way it is.) This is why from now on I refuse to lower my standards. I'm pretty happy with being single, I don't mind being by myself and living in my own head a lot. I I don't have a deep desire to experience fatherhood. If I'm not attracted to a woman or she doesn't make me anymore happier than I currently am, then what's the point? There's no need to settle or lower standards.

And that rose-tinted lovey dovey intoxicating "we're so in love" feeling is not what real love is. Real love is much more sobering and level-headed. With my last girlfriend, I had that "we're so in love" feeling but in reality I was in love with being in love, not with her. Once those lovey dovey chemicals in my brain wore off, I realized that she was not compatible with me at all and she made me miserable. I'm not even sure I can genuinely love a girl. If I manage to find a chick I really dig hanging out with, is it genuine or am I just thinking with my dick (if so then it should be treated as nothing more than casual sex, not a real relationship) or am I under the influence of those lovey dovey chemicals? (which makes for a very artificial relationship that doesn't last) You just never know. Our society places so much importance on passionate, romantic love just like in the movies and romance novels. But yet the divorce rate is like 50% and many married couples are miserable. Attraction and lovey dovey chemicals in your brain are not enough to sustain a relationship. I want to know that I truly appreciate the company of the woman I'm courting. I don't know if that's possible yet. I don't even enjoy hanging out with my best friend all that much. If I can't have a close enough bond with my best friend, how can I expect to form the type of bond necessary to maintain a long-term relationship?

I have suspected for awhile that I may have Schizoid Personality Disorder. Or at least a mild form of it. I have little interest in social interactions and the baggage that comes with social relationships. And I'm not good with emotional intimacy.I know that something is up with my brain. I know i'm wired differently than other people. Once in awhile my parents or siblings will ask me if I love them and I'll say I do but in truth, I don't really think I do. I like my family but I don't feel a strong affection for my family or friends. The weird thing is, despite this, I find myself tearing up like a baby if I see something in a movie/tv show or videogame that involves a tender or truly sad moment (ie. the dreams in Lost Odyssey).

Hit it... then hit it again... then hit it again... then qui.. hit it again... then quit it.

BTW I did not read this thread at all, this is just the first thought that popped in my mind after reading the title.

This is the worst English sentence I have ever read.

:(

It's rather difficult of me to articulate these things, certainly not right now while i'm at work and she's sitting right next to me, and given that i haven't given out the long and very complicated story on exactly what i was trying to acquire for her. Point is: the Rube Goldman (thought it was Goldberg) Machine-esque plot has not exploded into a ball of fire, despite the fact that it involved a fair bit of deception, and that she brought it up with the person that was (albeit harmlessly) decieved in the process, and that person was entirely unaware of a conversation that took place in their name.

Well I'm glad things didn't blow up in your face

Mr Khan is starting to creep me out... >_>

just make sure you don't become a creepy stalker.. a 50 yard restraining order is not something you want at your internship..

What i'm discussing was entirely peripheral, if rather stupid, but has nothing at all to do with the relationship. Merely a strictly anonymous attempt to make her life a little easier with no strings attached on my end

A little creepy due to the anonymity, i'll grant, but that's the beginning and end of it.

Oh, and she's aware i bought tickets, so positive gains all around

Hurray for Harry Potter

Remember what I said about them vidyagames

.Ever read wh.ich english 'sentence you reads?