The best time of the year for gamers, the Electronic Entertainment Expo, has finally come to end (few weeks ago...). After the end of E3, bloggers everywhere record their impressions. I thought about writing an E3 impressions blog, but I got to thinking—What's a way I can work my thoughts into something a tad less run-of-the-mill. So, instead of saying Microsoft's conference was okay, Nintendo's totally stole the show, and Sony's was a gloat-fest, I've complied two top ten lists—The best and worst of E3. Since people tend to be way more interested in negative things then positive, let's go with the worst moments first.
#10: Raving Rabbids: Travel in Time
Seriously, Ubisoft? Really? As if your reputation for shovelware isn't bad enough, you're going to pump out yet another Rabbids game. After all the mediocre reviews and reception I think it's clear that we don't want these stupid rabid bunnies! We don't care! And besides. This will be the fifth game in the series. Give it a rest.
#9: Kinect Nintendo Rip-Offs
Kinect Sports? Kinectimals? Surely most everyone sees the blatant title rip-offs here. Now, don't take me wrong. I'm not saying Microsoft doesn't have the right to do a sports game or a virtual pet game because Nintendo already has, but seriously. You could really do some work on thinking up some titles that are a little more original. After basically saying that the Wii just doesn't cut it, and that your new technology will change the face of the motion gaming market, are you even going to try and get people to take you seriously?
#8: Joel McHale
If you're going to choose someone to represent your entire company at E3, it's probably a good idea not to choose a celebrity. Especially when you're Ubisoft. All I know is that I felt very uncomfortable whenever this man talked. His jokes were uber-corny, and I seriously doubt he really knows much about games.
"Wait...Where's my duffel bag?"
#7: Sony's Lack of Announcements
As forshadowed at the beginning of this article, I thought Sony's conference was nothing more than a big, "Look at me!" Instead of trying to pull out shockers like the other companies, Sony spent their time either showing us games we already know about or bragging about how cool they are. I saw about three or four montages with catchy music and games that are already released or we already know about. Most of the demos were of games we know about already. I especially loved it when Jack Tretton stated that 2010 would be remembered as the year that Sony brought 3D to the gaming front. Yeah. Right. Not to say, that is, that Sony didn't have its moments. The Killzone 3 demo was breathtaking, Sorcery looked interesting, and hearing GlaDOS's voice brought a smile to my face, but when you really look at the conference, we saw next to nothing new.
#6: Wii Party
Nintendo conference, in my opinion, was a smash hit. It was great announcement after great announcement. And then, to put a little bit of a damper on the action, came this game. Wii Party. It's a party game that, like all the titles in the "Wii" series, is Mii-focused. The game not only looked generic and not very fun from the trailer, but there's bigger irony to be found here. Mario Party! Hello! Nintendo? Yes, you're making a rip-off of your own series. I would expect a third-party to make a Mario Party clone, but Nintendo themselves?! I love Mario Party—why not just make the ninth game? Stupid move, Nintendo.
#5: Battle Tag
I think everyone was surprised when supermodels came out doing backflips and somersaults while firing toy guns that made terrible sound effects during the Ubisoft conference. It was clear to me in a couple seconds this was some sort of laser tag game, but I couldn't imagine how this was a video game. Ubisoft tried to pass it off as a video game that you could play in real life, but most of us just sat there either laughing or with our faces buried in our hands (like me). This might do okay on the toy market, and the kiddies might buy it, but please. If us teens/adults are going to play a gun-based game outside, we're going to be playing something like paintball or airsoft—we're not going to run around in clunky vests and a gun that looks like it's straight off the set of the original Lost in Space.
In the words of Kevin Butler: "Pew! Pew!"
#4: Kevin Butler/Marcus Rivers
Firstly, let me outwardly state that I despise Kevin Butler. To the core. I don't think his mega-bashing of Nintendo and Microsoft in Sony's commercials is funny, and I didn't think he was anymore funny during the conference. He didn't really do much insulting of other companies during his canned speech, but another cheesy character for Sony's TV Spots made his appearance around the same time. Sony's new "Meet Marcus" ads are their new way of marketing the PSP on the television front. Instead of normal ads simply stating what the PSP is capable of and shooting out some cool games, the idiots that run Sony's marketing committee decided it'd be hilarious if they hired a sassy, 10-year-old, wanna-be gangsta, that walks around playing PSP wherever he goes; flaunting it as something to effect of, "the only system for gamers serious about games." First of all, two words. Bull. Crap. Listen Sony, the PSP is cool and everything, I own one, I like it a lot. But we all know that the DS has you beat hands-down, or is at least neck-and-neck. This isn't some fanboy raving—look at the stats! Gamespot alone has rated fifteen DS game a 9.0 an higher, while only nine PSP games can state this. IGN gives twenty-nine DS games 9.0 or higher, and 31 PSP games the same honor. It can be stated then, that the DS is either better or just as good as the PSP. You're a liar, Marcus Rivers. A dirty liar.
"This campaign is whack, man!"
#3: Video Kinect Demo
It was a neat concept. Kinect could be used for a new-fangled video chat in which you could watch movies and videos together, check news, etc. Cool features like skeleton tracking were thrown in to make it seem extra cool. What better way to present the new tech by getting some lady and her twin sister to do a scripted conversation. SCRIPTED. I think Tim Harding said it best in the 2PStart Live! Postmortem E3 Podcast in which he said this quote in relation to the scripted conversation: "Yeah, why do they need a script?! Have they never spoken before, are they, like, reuniting these twins separated at birth? They never knew each other existed and they're like, 'Hey do you mind doing this video for us at E3?'" He's got it right. Why couldn't they just make it cool and natural and have them talk and joke around normally. They could show off the video function in a normal way and not have to crack any corny jokes about The Last Airbender and Gamerscores. Lesson learned? Scripted conversations, unless done by professionals, generally don't work.
#2: Innergy
I love this one because it's one big fail made up by a few other fails. Ubisoft had a few fails at their conference, but this one pretty much takes the cake. Firstly, a red-head hippie walks up to Joel McHale and introduces his new game called Innergy. This guy is clearly a weirdo, and starts going on about how his new game can help you relieve stress anytime, anywhere, etc. Then he whips out the gimmick you'll need to use to play the game. The Wii Vitality Sensor…Oh, oh wait that's not the Vitality Sensor. So now that Ubisoft has created their own rip-off of tech originally introduced by Nintendo, Mr. Hippie continues. His game will alleviate stress by letting you make a bubble with a face go up and down, and up and down…And up. And down. Over and over again by breathing in and out. Not only is the game's concept a big "lolwut?" but the gameplay shown looked something like Woodstock. Why, Ubisoft?
"Follow me...Into total submission!"
#1: The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Demo
I love Nintendo. I grew up with them. I used to be a radical follower who hated every other company. Nowadays, Nintendo seems to be the underdog of E3. Since many gamers these days consist of mindless FPS fanboys who are loyal either to Sony or Microsoft and their FPS offerings, Nintendo is typically laughed at—at E3, as well as throughout the year, and called a company who's no longer good for anything but making casual gaming. Any intelligent gamer knows that Nintendo's still got it. So every year I hope and pray Nintendo will have an excellent conference. Not just for my sake, but for the reputation of Nintendo. When Nintendo, started off the conference by announcing the new Zelda game, a smile crossed my face…Which slowly faded away. It was like a nightmare. A long, terrible nightmare. I watched in utter horror as Link's sword snapped from one position to another in an uncontrollable spasm. I watched in utter horror as Miyamoto couldn't control the new beetle item correctly enough to show what he wanted to. I watched in utter horror as Miyamoto couldn't even demo the bow and arrow. All I could think of was the crazed fanboys and Sony/Microsoft prejudiced sites and blogs that would absolutely tear into Nintendo and shred them to bits for their failure. I knew that this was obviously a sensor bar issue (I have my suspicions of sabotage), and I knew the finished product would be quality, but I knew that this one failure would be a laughing stock among Nintendo haters everywhere.
"Miyamoto-san, I saw Kevin Butler over here earlier..."
So there you have it. Keep in mind this is totally my opinion. I'm interested in knowing what you guys agree with and disagree with on this list. What would you have added or taken away? Comment, and be heard! Peace.
-NintendoNaut
EDIT: Something that many of the commenters are saying has come to my attention, and I would like to clear something up. Just because I thought the Zelda mess-up at E3 was terrible, I realize the game played well at the booths, and I don't doubt Nintendo can make the game a quality product. I tried to make clear in the article that I knew the game would turn out good in the end, but that apparently wasn't so. Thank you.
