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Special Mushroom Fry:

You need:

Mushrooms (ideally closed cup) -- 5

Garlic Cloves (Finely chopped) -- 3

Onion (Chopped, but not too finely) -- 1

Soy Sauce -- 2 TBSP (Ideally a strong one)

Chicken Stock Granules (or cubes) -- 1.5 TBSP

Olive Oil -- 4 TBSP

Salt -- To taste

Black Pepper -- To taste

Method:

1. Chop onion and garlic. Also chop the mushrooms to the size you like to eat them in

2. Heat a pan with 4 TBSP of Olive Oil in it

3. Once pan is heated add onion and garlic, fry till semi brown

4. Once onion/garlic are semi brown add 2 TBSP of soy sauce and basically mix them around for 1 minute, during the 1 minute also add 0.5 TBSP of chicken stock and some black pepper.

5. Add the mushrooms now, keep moving about.

6. Add 1 TBSP of chicken stock and more black pepper. Add salt to taste.

7. After 5 minutes of frying, taste to see if salt is in correct proportion.

8. If it tastes great put it on a plate and EAT!

* Can be eaten with omelette, toast and so on. 

* Time to cook = 10 minuts

* Time for preparation = 15 Minutes

Student's 5-Cheese Pizza

Ingredients:

Frozen 4-cheese pizza
One other cheese which doesn't feature on aforementioned pizza (E.G. Leerdammer, Emmental or Wensleydale)


Instructions:

Preheat oven
Grate cheese over pizza
Put in oven
Wait
Call fire brigade

Pasta with Creme-Fraiche, leak panchetta and mushrooms

(Pretty quick, takes around 30 minutes, serves 2)

Need:

• Creme-Friache (full-fat)
• 2 Leaks
• Mushrooms
• Panchetta
• Pasta
• Olive oil
• Parsley

1. Set the water to boil, lightly salted
2. Slice the 2 leaks and fry in olive oil
3. Chop the mushrooms and add
4. By now the water should be boiling so add the pasta
5. Continue to fry and monitor pasta
6. Add panchetta to the frying leak and mushrooms
7. Drain pasta and add to the frying pan (with the leak, mushroom and panchetta) and mix in (and turn off heat)
8. Add 2 tablespoon of creme-fraiche and mix. Add more if needed.
9. Serve, chop parsley and sprinkle on top for garnish

Goes well with Pinot Grigio or Chardonay. Quick and easy and good start to a night if you're looking to get laid ;)

Cheese toasties

Preheat you grill (you may need parental assistance if you are not used to using a grill)

Lightly toast some bread. White sliced.

Slice some cheese using a cheese slicer - i prefer chedder.

Place cheese slices on one side of the toast covering as much as possible.

Place under grill until the cheese starts to bubble and turn a little brown then remove (careful not to burn your paw)

Enjoy on its own or with some brown sauce. delicious.

wow this sounds very tasty!

And my student staple:

Pizza style, fried cheese-toastie (Very unhealthy and full of fat!)

Need:

• 2 slices of white bread
• Tomatoe puree or Ketchup
• Ham (if you want some protein)
• Oregano
• Butter or margarine
• Cheese of your choice

1. Get a slice of bread and spread tomatoe puree (or ketchup) on one side

2. Get other slice and grate cheese on top

3. Add ham if needed, then add oregano on top of cheese

4. Place tomatoed slice on top of cheese slice and with a knife add a few holes in the sandwich

5. Butter one side profusely

6. Fry on buttered side (add more butter in pan if needed)

7. Whilst frying, butter other side profusely

8. Flip when ready

9. Once the cheese has melted and both sides are fried, it's ready!

10. Eat and clog up arteries with cheesy, buttery goodness!

Honey Lemon Chicken

- Chicken pieces (how many and what sort is up to you and how may people you want to feed figure at least 2 pieces per person, I prefer the bone-in dark meat pieces (like thigh) with skin on, makes delicious crispy skin. My boys prefer boneless breast).

-Rice: make whatever way you like it. I like mine semi persian style: rinse off the excess starch, put the rice in a stainless steel pot with a reasonably heavy / thick bottom and a good lid, add water to the rice so that tehre is about 1/2cm of water covering, add salt and a decent gloop of a light flavoured oil (grapeseed oil is good, don't use olive oil). Bring the rice to a boil on the stove, let it boil for a short time (about 1 minute max), turn the element down to the lowest setting, wrap the pot lid with a thin a tea towel, make sure the entire underside of the pot lid is covered by the tea towel, jam the pot lid onto the the pot so that it makes adecent seal. Leave the rice for 20 minutes to half an hour. You know the rice is done when you flick water near the bottom of the pot and it immediately sizzles. Most of the rice will be cooked like normal, but there will be a layer crisp rice on the bottom of the pot which is crunchy and yummy. You may need to experiment a bit with the stove setting and timing because each pot/stove combination works differently, you may undercook (i.e. get no crispy rice) or burn the bottom layer once or twice until you get it nicely fine tuned.

Sauce: Equal parts honey, soy sauce & lemon juice, if you want to be particularly indulgent then equal amount of melted butter too. At least 1/2 cup of each if you're making for 2 people

Coating: melted butter & flour, enough to coat each piece of chicken.

Pre-heat oven to about 150deg Celcius (~300-320 deg F?)

Butter and flour the chicken pieces and lay in a single layer in an oven dish, if you have skin on pieces make sure the skin sides are facing up for crisping. Easiest way to apply the flour after dipping in butter is put the flour in a plastic back and and shake pieces individually in the bag to get a nice even coating.

Pour about half the sauce over the chicken pieces.

Put the chicken in the oven, cook for about 20 minutes, then baste the chicken with sauce, just use enough to baste each piece. Cook another 20 minutes, baste again. Cook another 20 minutes, baste again. Keep cooking until the chicken is fall off the bone tender (maybe 1hr 20 or 30 in total?).

Serve with the rice and enjoy.

Sorry can you expand a bit on the recipe,I got stuck at stage 4 :)

Stewed Dog

Ingredients:

One meaty dog (ideally, darth's dog)

Salt

Garlic

Tomato sauce

Onion

Red Pepper

Instructions:

1. First, kill a medium sized dog, then burn off the fur over a hot fire. 

2. Carefully remove the skin while still warm and set aside for later (may be used in other recpies)

3. Poor in the rest

Pretty nasty. It's a real recipe. I like the way they say " First, kill a medium sized dog", like it's a common thing to do.