Hey that's pretty good. Good job OP. I wish you fortune in your music career.

Your voice is so much louder than the rest of the instruments that it almost sounds more like karaoke.

I love the instrumentation in your song, but I feel like your voice was too smooth..and you sang too slowly to go along with such a fast beat. Your sentences were short and you spoke them so slowly and clearly and smoothly that it didn't feel like it fit at all. I felt like you were stretching yourself over as much of the song as possible, like spreading peanut butter too thinly on a piece of toast.

I hope that helps you somehow.

You guys (some of you) don't get it.

He is trying to make a hit song, simply a good song (whoever it is). That's what we're supposed to evaluate.

The production is not the point. It's a demo. Anyone can hear that this is not the final product, it's just a raw recording at an amateur studio (if even that). A producer or a sound engineer would obviously mix the instruments and the voice and make him sing a bit rougher/harder etc and make it sound polished.

Bottom line, it's a good song.

EDIT: sorry for the angry tone, I didn't mean that lol.

That still doesn't cover the fact that his lines are too short and simple, and that in order to make it fill the song, he sings slowly and spreads his words over as much of the song as possible. Like taking a tiny bit of peanut butter and spreading it over too much bread.

Kid needs more peanut butter.

It's really just a personal dislike, which apparently isn't shared by anyone else in this thread, but I thought I'd give him my two cents.

Well, I agree about the peanut butter part. He needs more words instead of stretching them out.