Well to get this started, off.

So in this dream my parents were renewing their wedding vows and I was eating all the free food. Then these two ladies tell me to go on this couch and one of them says something along the lines of "I have 6 months to live" suddenly she turned into a puppy and her gums and eyes started oozing blood.

.......the fuck?

I had a lucid dream once (they're awesome), but it was a bit naughty and I can't share it.

Yea, I usually have pretty morbid dreams.

Ok ok so I'm in my basement and ET runs towards me! Freaky!!

I would say a dream where I was playing defense in football at recess of grade school and the other team scored a touchdown seconds before the whistle blew ending recess.

Doesn't sound memorable... except for the fact that the exact play happened the next day. I walked over to 5 feet where the ball was going to be thrown... and literally the guy through the in the exact same place. Reached up... caught the ball. Interception. Whistle blows... we win the game.

Weird shit.

I had a weird and very vivid dream the other night. I was standing on a big hill, surrounded by these ravines with little rivers in them. The ravines were crawling with these big ass tortoises (they're land creatures, you stupid subconscious mind!), which were rapidly multiplying. Then someone (although I didn't see anyone else) told me that each new tortoise would consume as many resources as a fully grown elephant. Apparently this was a bad thing, so I started throwing some thing or other (pixie dust, maybe?) into the water to kill the tortoises. An elephant appeared, and so of course, I jumped on its back and tromped all over the tortoise corpses bobbing around in the water. The end!

I wrote this one down back when I had it, it was so weird...

My dad and I are driving to my school because we need to talk to my technology-teacher. We get there and go down to the classroom, which is in a boilerroom (I normally have technology on the 1st floor), steam, red lights, etc. My dad and I go into the classroom and wait, and all of a sudden we're in the middle of class. My teacher is getting more and more frustrated, and finally he shouts that he wants to kill himself and runs out of the room. Shortly after, he comes back wearing an evening gown, and with makeup in his face. He is wearing a patch on one of his wrists and you can see the blood tickle out from underneath.
He then starts killing people, and my entire class becomes faceless and I can't tell who's who. Then the view changes to another room in the boilerroom, where I see a manequin sized puppet come to life. It's dressed in black, and pulls a piece of cloth from its back, over its shoulders, and in mid-air, the cloth turns into an uzi. The puppet then comes smashing into the classroom where my teacher has disappeared. Everything goes into slowmotion, and the puppet starts shooting. It makes perfect one hit kills, no one is shot twice, despite it using an uzi.
The puppet then evaporates as the door is kicked in anew, and then I walk in, wielding a knife. I look at the seat where I was sitting just a second ago, and it's now empty. I start killing people, and I see a woman lying on the floor and I think "Kill the bitch!". I kill her and when I look up, a man is sitting at the other end of the room, I throw the knife into his chest.

Then I wake up.

I don't remember most of my dreams.

I used to dream about being chased by a wolf.

Also, I used to dream a lot about deep water, scuba diving, and shit - I've got a fear of the ocean, so they were like nightmares, scary stuff.

Finally, I once had an experience where I thought I was laying in bed, and I could hear intruders walking around outside my room. Thing is, everyone in the house was asleep, and there weren't any intruders, or anything, so it must have been a dream - but it felt really, really lifelike.

That might have been sleep paralysis.

Go on Wiki and read it.

www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis