Guess my account is also 10 years old this year too.
About the stuff going on in your life, even as I'm quite ill suited to give anyone advice, all I can say is that everything is a lot worse on ours minds than it actually is, you do not have to compare yourself to others to judge whether or not you are doing good, but we all end up doing that anyway.
A broken heart heals, even as you might think it does not when you are going throught it, it heals, time can't fix eveything but it does help a whole lot with the healing.
From my POV you have always been a nice person, and I'm sure you'll get things sorted out in your own time, and I'm glad you found out a community to share some more of your interests with.
I think most of us catch ourselves barely even coming here anymore too, but the greatest games thread you took the mantle to hold was a nice event to come back to, so thank you for holding it for so many years (but also don't worry about it too!).