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Jumpin said:

I'm a fairly bad person to ask, as I'm mostly what some people would refer to as a "fucking asshole" - I'm one of the sorts of parents that gets in a lot of trouble for drinking too much beer and encouraging his kid to fight in hockey games (in my defense, the coach's wife does it too!). but I'll offer my opinion:

I like you a lot as a poster on these forums!

I don't read many people's longer posts, but you're one of the exceptions.

Fact: you help make people's lives here better with your posts. Do we do the same for you? (Not talking about me in particular, but maybe others on the forum).

We love you! (not in a creepy way).

We all struggle, one way or another, everyone in the world has their struggles in life, to one degree or another. If you reach out to people with your struggles, we'll reach back.

Do you like to write? Why not try writing for Medium or one of the other similar sites. It's slow going at first, but after 4-10 months you'll trickle into the hundreds of followers, and then you can even make some cash for posts on it... you can get followers even faster if you do little tricks to beg (but personally, I don't see the point). There's also some creative writing outlets... but DON'T go to Wattpad, unless you want to read/write werewolf erotica and are turned on by descriptions of wet dog stench. There's Kindle Vella as well, which I've been finding some success on, but I'd only do that if you know a professional editor. 

Anyway, I just saw this post, and wanted to let you know that we care about you, even if some of us are dumb (Maybe me?) about how we respond :D
If this online tribe matters, you're a part of it, and we're from all around the world.

Also, I searched for someone who articulates some of what I'm trying to say a lot better than me, and here:

Also there's so much fucking beauty in the world,

I've also heard promising things about certain mushrooms and Ketamine... although, they're currently controlled almost everywhere.

I do like it here! I don't think I fit in too well, but that's okay. You guys are nice and we have things in common. This thread has actually been pretty helpful to me not only in terms of advice, but more essentially just in letting me know that other people would prefer me alive. Simple words of kindness go a long way, and I appreciate yours! (Also, I enjoy reading your posts too.)

There was indeed a time when I thought I was going to be a writer. Turns out I just lacked the discipline. I mean that's a big part of my problem in life in general; not knowing what I'm supposed to do next and then, if I figure something out, dredging up the motivation to actually do that thing. I work 60+ hours a week and am typically pretty exhausted all the time. I enjoy writing, but I guess what I'm saying is that I can only write what I'm motivated to; I can only do so on my terms because otherwise it just becomes another job. Which I guess is the whole idea you're proposing here  but, assuming it even could work out financially for me (like assuming I'm talented enough to make a writing career work out in the first place), I don't think I can handle the transition period between here and writing professionally full-time because it involves writing professionally WHILE maintaining my existing job in addition and that's just too much of a weight on my mind. I'm satisfied to write stuff here.

The thing is that I feel like the solutions to my financial problems are so simple if someone up there would just show me an ounce of mercy and like give me just $2 or $3 an hour more. It doesn't feel like I should have to move mountains just to almost get by. Then again, given some of the shit I've pulled in the past, maybe it's a fate I deserve.

Maybe someday though I'll find a way to become a stronger person and when I manage to pull that off, I'll take your advice and maybe see if I can get somewhere writing for Medium or something. Thanks for believing that I have that potential!

Also, thanks for the videos too. I especially appreciated that perspective from Chris Hadfield. He's right, we are all one people at the end of the day and should cut each other some slack because all of us are struggling. I'm bad at that sometimes. I know I can be prickly and visceral and lose sight of those things we all have in common, among which is none other than suffering.