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I want to update your guys on my situation. This thread is old, but I don't feel like creating a new one just to post this. I apologize if this is necro-bumping.

Well, it's been what, around four years, since I started the treatment. A lot of things happened in my life. Some good things and some harsh things. I learned how to drive, Started a new college course, discovered some cool games, animes, movies... But on the other hand, this year I lost three family members, two of them to COVID, and one to cancer. Yeah, that was some suffering.

I don't understand, when those deaths happened, I was supposed to have some kind of breakdown, but... Well, I cried for some time, but a couple of days later, I was fine. I don't get it, my mom was surprised to see how well I handled the situation, but I had some kind of dilemma, because I wasn't reacting like I thought I would be. It was like I wasn't myself at all. "Why I'm not having a breakdown at all?" I thought.

I talked about that to my doctor, and he said I am showing progress. He told me that I probably would have reacted different if I wasn't taking my medication. And I shouldn't think too much about that. In other words, I shall enjoy life and good moments. I was like "So I must be a robot then? Show no emotions at all?". But yeah, I know I'm wrong. I think my vision about life still needs to change a bit.

While I was sad because of these things, I was also thinking that... Well, if I overcame losing three family members, I think I can deal with that fu#@$ing Disorder. Also I think the answer to my question "Why I'm not having a breakdown?" is something like... "Because I'm doing better now."

Thanks for reading.