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AkimboCurly said:

Please see the previous edit underneath this post to see the original post, with story and context and a great platter of controversy. 

After probably about 6 cumulative hours complaining to various representatives from UK, US, and for some reason Danish (?) Nintendo support, I have pulled off the impossible. I have managed to get a refund from Nintendo for a digital purchase. 

Please read the previous edits if you're interested in why I wanted a refund, otherwise continue here. This will hopefully serve as a guide to help the good people here do the same if ever they should feel the need to. I also hope the discussion we've started about consumer-friendly returns policy can develop a bit more here in light of this. 

It took a long while, but in 3-5 business days i'll have the money back and i'll send it straight back for some online Mario Kart goodness. Feel very free to recommend alternatives but they *must* be playable online. I have a few scars with respect to my perception of Nintendo. I know that many people would have given up long before they got what they deserved, and the time we could have spent playing was instead wasted phoning an employee called Rasmus. Some of the most egregious practises, like not being able to cancel preorders, need to be gone and buried, and here's hoping that all platforms reach the standard that Steam, Epic Games and Win Store/Xbox set. 

So there you have it. The Gold standard is here: https://www.epicgames.com/site/en-US/store-refund-policy 

You can even get a refund there to benefit from a sale or if the game becomes free. 

True Nintendo (and Sony) need to get their asses in gear, but did you know Origin and GOG have better refund policies than everyone else?