I know very little about the specific problems mentioned in the OP. But, for what its worth, I think XBL is much better than PSN (though PSN closed the gap significantly early this generation). I own both systems, but play mostly on PS4. However, I made the decision a few months ago not to renew my PSN subscription, and to play online only on XB. This decision wasn't related to any particular problems with PSN. But, I couldn't justify two subscriptions, so I decided to keep the one that I thought was better. It was an easy decision to stick with XBL.
I will note that I requested a refund one time from PSN due to an auto-renewal that I thought I had turned off. They did eventually give me the money back, but it took some time in chat, then filling out some stuff online, then waiting. I don't recall ever asking MS for a refund, so I have nothing to compare it to.
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