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RolStoppable said:

Nintendo Switch has been on the market for a full 18 months by now. The launch hype is gone and the dust has settled, so this is a good time to recap the console's achievements or lack thereof. While the general consensus is that Switch is selling well and successful, such a conclusion doesn't hold up under scrutiny. It's not all sunshine and rainbows in Nintendo land and we have to be honest about it.

Exhibit A - Switch is the successor to both the Wii U and 3DS, and it's selling slower than its predecessors

The latest hardware sales update on VGChartz puts Switch's LTD total at 20.1m units by September 1st 2018. That's pretty much exactly 18 months after its launch on March 3rd 2017. Through their respective first 18 months on the market, Wii U and 3DS combine for approximately 24.8m units, so almost 5m more than Switch, according to VGChartz.

* Switch selling less than Wii U and 3DS combined is meaningless and doesn't in any way mean Switch is not successful.
* The Switch is a hybrid, not a replacement for Wii U or 3DS, it is more akin to a 3DS and Wii U in one, which means it is a replacement for a 3DS AND a Wii U. Users only need to buy one Switch to replace both their Wii U and 3DS.
* A Switch in a household gives the whole family a device to play on, while 3DS is a personal device.
* When you look at software sales, the Switch sold 87 million software and nearly 20 million hardware in 16 months - this is a higher attach rate than both the Wii U and around double the attach rate of the 3DS.
* This is also in no way measures decline since a large portion Wii U owners were also 3DS owners, people do not buy a separate Switch for handeld and home console play. It's not a handheld or a home console, it's a handheld AND a home console - a hybrid, in other words.
* Taking the above points into account, Nintendo has sold 87 million Switch games by June 30th according to Nintendo, which is significantly higher than Nintendo's numbers for 3DS and Wii U software combined for the same time frame, despite the fact that Wii U had two holiday seasons.
* Nintendo's total revenue for FY2018 was 1.06 trillion yen, the highest of any year since before the launch of the 3DS, double the revenue for most years of the 3DS/Wii U era.

And as far as total profits go:

RolStoppable said: 

Exhibit B - Nintendo continues to make smartphone games and their new CEO Furukawa wants to grow that business

If Switch were truly successful, Nintendo would put their focus on their core business again. However, there's growing determination to shift away from it.

https://www.usgamer.net/articles/new-nintendo-president-wants-to-grow-companys-mobile-games-into-100-billion-yen-business

Exhibit C - Nintendo's stock price has dropped by approximately 25% since March 2018

Investors have been losing confidence in Nintendo for a while now. Switch is on a downward trajectory.

Exhibit D - The 3DS was a better portable than Switch is

Switch's battery life barely scraps past the 3 hours mark if we are generous. The original 3DS's battery life was 5 hours.

* What does diversifying to expand brand recognition have to do with a lack of success? Nintendo continued to support handheld games during the Wii era, that doesn't equal Wii is unsuccessful.
* In 2008, Nintendo's stock price has dropped to 1/3rd its 2007 level - and FY 2009 and 2010 were its two most successful years ever. No one would argue 2008 as a failure for Nintendo. Stock prices are speculative, not necessarily indicative.
* In both consoles it depends on the game, Switch's battery life can last 10 hours on certain games, while games like Ocarina of Time 3D would drain 3DS in under 2 hours.
* The software available for Switch is FAR more appealing than 3DS's as well.
RolStoppable said: 

Exhibit E - The Wii U had better third party support than Switch

Wii U had Call of Duty, Assassin's Creed, Darksiders, Need for Speed, Madden, Tekken, Mass Effect, just to name a few. Switch has none of those and it doesn't look like that will change anytime soon, if ever.

The Wii U was a very unappealing console for that software, so games like Mass Effect and Assassin's Creed were irrelevant releases for the Wii U as a result.

 

RolStoppable said: 

Exhibit G - The best Switch games are Nintendo games

This irrefutable fact doesn't point towards a healthy software ecosystem. Quite the opposite, actually. It highlights that third parties aren't willing to invest in the platform.

Exhibit H - Online multiplayer has been put behind a paywall on Switch

The history of paid online multiplayer on consoles is a history of console manufacturers who struggled to make profit via honest business. Whether you take Sega, Microsoft or Sony, it's always the same story.

Neither of these things have anything to do with negative success. The best Wii games are Nintendo games and online is behind a paywall on PS4 - both consoles are massive successes. In fact, Nintendo selling high amounts of first-party software equals greater success, since that gives them the most profits.

 

EDIT

Damn, it's far too late for me to be on the Internet... completely flew over my head that this was satire =P

Y'bastard =D

 

I suppose I'll go and debunk the Onion next.



I describe myself as a little dose of toxic masculinity.