| CrazyGamer2017 said:
I'm the guy that tells a little kid that just got burned out by matches "I told you it would burn" in the hopes that he understands that fire is not to be played with because it will inevitably burn. The ACTUAL responsibility of keeping the child safe from fire is STILL MINE, I CANNOT leave a little kid unattended cause if he hurts himself it would still be my entire responsibility. But if I don't try to make him take the very basic responsibility of his choice, if I tell him "poor little sweetie who got burned by that bad mister fire" in his head he does not have to be careful cause he will believe he has absolutely no part or responsibility in what happened. So he's gonna play with fire again cause the burn has nothing to do with his choices. But if I tell him "I told you that fire would burn" chances are he will get a little more wise and not play with fire next time cause hopefully he understands the very basic notion that CHOOSING to go ahead and play with fire will have a consequence of this unpleasant feel of burning. |
But people don't need to be told these things. Someone who just burned their hand is going to understand that fire burns. Someone who has just gotten out of an extremely abusive relationship isn't likely to simply jump back into another relationship, no matter how healthy that relationship would be. More often than not they are going to display a number of negative symptoms, such as being terrified of intimacy, finding it difficult to trust others, having difficulty making connections and often, blaming themselves for the fact that this happens, etc. You don't need to tell them "I told you it would burn", especially if they weren't playing with fire in the first place (again, you ignored the majority of my post which called you out for this assumption...). How you deal with victims is by helping them get over the trauma, not by drilling it into their head that this could happen again.
All that accomplishes is making it more difficult for them to get over that trauma (if they have already gotten out of the relationship) or making it more difficult to get out of that situation. Further, your nebulous "make good decisions" "advice" isn't likely to help anyone, especially when often, the victim doesn't have to make poor decisions to lead them into that situation.
numberwang said:
Correlation is a necessary (but not sufficient) condition for causality and can't be dismissed so easily if you have many individual observations that demonstrate the point (someone without a family can't rely on parents, siblings etc for support and can be on the streets faster). |
Feel free to substantiate your ponderings with literally any evidence, but until then, all you are doing is saying "look at how this graph looks! Wow!" which honestly, adds nothing to the conversation. Given your handling of the OP topic, I won't hold my breath.
I don't disagree with your argument, you just haven't actually made one yet.
