CrazyGamer2017 said:
To themselves. It's by being critical to yourself that you progress in life. And before someone misconstrue what I just said, I DO NOT mean blaming yourself for being raped, I meant take responsibility that you ended up marrying a person that turned out to be dangerous and that you now realize that you obviously did not know him well enough to marry him. If you don't do that you can fall again for another rapist later on. Because if you don't take responsibility, why should you be careful of who you marry, in fact, marry someone you don't know and that you met 5 minutes ago, if something goes wrong, it's not your responsibility so you are not supposed to be careful of whom you marry because according to you guys it's not your responsibility to know who you marry. See how not taking responsibility for your choices can even be dangerous? I honestly don't know how to make my point more clear, just as I don't know how to make you guys understand that I DO NOT approve of rape, in fact I consider it abhorrent. Yet I am willing to be that some of you think that I am ok with rape or something, you got that idea stuck in your heads, judgement has been passed and nothing I can say will probably change your minds. |
The mindset of "how could I have prevented this" in victims is often incredibly damaging. It often leads to people absorbing the fault of someone else's wrongdoing which makes the emotional consequences even stronger and more damaging. It also makes it more difficult for the individual to connect to others, because that responsibility leads them to believe that they were the reason this happened, not because of someone else, which makes it difficult to move on. Because of that, they feel like if they make the same perceived mistakes (which are often just normal, reasonable human interactions), the same result will occur. In reality, domestic violence is a lot more complicated than that and there is often either little a person can do or difficult barriers stemming from the abuse which makes it incredibly difficult to leave.
What you are advocating is for victims to follow a crippling mindset which can amplify the emotional consequences of rape. There is such a fine line between "taking responsibility" and blaming yourself (some may even say their is no line) that it is virtually impossible to distinguish between in someone who has just experienced such strong emotional trauma.
If you think that you are helping victims of marital rape (which would be a stretch given the amount of times you've said or implied that they were stupid idiots), you are wrong.
