Okay, it didn't suck. It was awesome. Now, let's talk about why it sucked.

 

Spoilers ahoy!

 

-"King T'Challa": So, in Civil War, T'Chakka dies and his son becomes the king. He has the powers of the Black Panther. In the movie, we find out here's not the king? They take away his powers. Why did he have them in the first place? His dad was still alive so his dad should have still been the Black Panther. Right?

 

-The Ritual: Okay. So the son of the King gets to be King...unless somebody can beat him up. That means the best fighter can be king because we all know being the best fighter automatically makes you a diplomat, wise, etc. But what are the rules?

 

If T'Challa wins his first challenge, can somebody else challenge? Can he win five fights in a day? If he loses a fight and injures his opponent, can somebody else challenge!?! Can we have a full WWE Pay Per View called "Waterfall Rumble"?

 

-Wakanda Tech P1: If Wakanda is so advanced, why are they fighting with spears and weaponized rhinos? Wait. Weaponized rhinos? WEAPONIZED RHINOS!?? In that final battle, a sniper with a good vantage point could have killed everybody. They thought the best was to win a battle was to bludgeon each other to death and trample each other with rhinos. And if those weapons would have made it out of Wakanda, the military would have just nuked the hell out of Africa. Jesus, Killmonger. You know better than this!

 

-Wakanda Tech P2: Holy shit. Vibranium does it all. It's a metal that doesn't break and absorbs impact. You put it in your food. You rub it on your skin. You buy stuff with it. If your back aches, you dip your body in it. The shit is magical (translation: overpowered!)! But, at the same time, the same ship they flew around in in 1992 was the same ship the had in 2018. The same 3D phone tech. Couldn't they evolve a little?

 

-Wakanda Riches: I could get off on a whole other rant about the Wakandan economic system. Don't get me started. 

 

-We don't know you, Killmonger!: (Pretend I wrote a whole paragraph on how they just assumed Killmonger was telling the truth and let him challenge their king, even when the challenge was over). Not even a blood test? C'mon! Anybody from Wakanda could have a lip tattoo!

 

-Papa Killmonger, a traitor?: What the hell. He came from the richest country in the world. Why did he betray them? What could he gain? And why was he livng in the ghetto anyway? What country would send their King's brother to do spy mission and send a spy to spy on the spy? They should have people trained for this kind of job!

 

I could go on but I won't. I've done enough. I just like messing with people when they like something. I'm an asshole.



mZuzek loves Starfox Adventures