Scifi fans, can you give an opinion about this prologue? is it too long/ grammar sucks / lame/ is it fun to read / confusing ...etc

[PullusPardus]

Richard_Feynman said:

PullusPardus said:

AND THATS the backstory.... I think i'll pass out

I'm flying somewhere today so won't be able to read that for a few days...

No worries. its a bunch of "I have too much time on my hands".