Scifi fans, can you give an opinion about this prologue? is it too long/ grammar sucks / lame/ is it fun to read / confusing ...etc

[PullusPardus]

LemonSlice said:

Richard_Feynman said:

soup

Blunt and harsh, as it should be. You do talk yourself up too much, though.

I would to. If I was good at something. :P