Scifi fans, can you give an opinion about this prologue? is it too long/ grammar sucks / lame/ is it fun to read / confusing ...etc

[PullusPardus]

Richard_Feynman said:

Ok finished it!

Tell me Pallus, you want to know what I think? I'm quite the critic (at times) you know! Going to wait for your response before typing out...

 

EDIT: Wow, it took me ~20mins to read that (there was an interuption). I read fast by anyone's standards - I doubt many people will have the patience to spend >30mins reading someone's stuff!

I know, but its worth a try.

I bought the books, I'll find a time to read them.