Scifi fans, can you give an opinion about this prologue? is it too long/ grammar sucks / lame/ is it fun to read / confusing ...etc

[PullusPardus]

LemonSlice said:

I read half. Lack of proper punctuation (it's basically one long run on sentence then another) makes it hard to read. It's decently eloquent, and does have the feel of sci-fi pulp. You do paint an interesting picture and I think I could get into it were it not for the awful grammar and punctuation.

Just work on your style and you should get better. I read stuff which had perfect writing and was awfully boring and you're not boring. :)

I fixed the grammar mistakes, sorry about that.