PullusPardus on 04 August 2014
| Scoobes said: I'm still reading through, but based on what I've read I would suggest shortening your sentences. The first paragraph for instance would flow a lot better if you separated it into three separate sentences rather than one long sentence separated by multiple comma's. The story has me intrigued though. |
You know whats funny? I actually made sentences long because someone told me they were too short and I should be more detailed, I guess I don't have a middle ground.
Thanks though. =]
